Perplexing News

I know there is way too much entertainment out there. I can’t keep up with all the wrestling programming, let alone “Better Call Saul” and “The Great British Baking Show.” Work, lunch and sleeping keep getting in the way.

So I want you to know that I feel really guilty about this but I’m going to recommend another must-see video series: FloridaBarNews.tv.

Yes, the Florida bar has gone Hollywood (Hollywood, Florida of course) with a YouTube channel, and the result is riveting. As of this writing, the Florida Bar has posted 92 news “updates” sponsored by the Florida Lawyers Mutual Insurance Company that redefine the concept of news coverage.

Not necessarily in a good way, but the videos are definitely thought-provoking. Try watching one — or several, since they’re short — during a break from work to brighten your day and exercise your mind.

They all seem to feature someone pretending to be a news anchor reporting a story that makes us wonder if they’re serious or if it’s some sort of test to see if we realize it’s a joke or a test to see if we’re paying attention. (I say “seem” because I haven’t watched the entire series yet — please, no spoilers.)

As of this writing, episode 92 was the most recently posted, and it’s a good example of the perplexing format.

There are illustrative graphics like this one:

Yes, it’s a giant gavel with a caption that says a business court system “may be developing in the near future.” Apparently, if it does, the gavels will be huge.

That may not sound like useful information, but, wait, there’s even less. There is a quote central to the story. I know it’s central to the story because they flash it across the screen along with a photo of a guy who may have said it.

It says: “Our expectation is we’re going to start from scratch. … We’re going to, within the confines of the Florida Constitution, develop a business court system, if it makes sense.”

Which, of course, it doesn’t. That’s where the clever and subtle thought provocation comes in. This is the Oscars “popular film” category proposal all over again.

How do you define business litigation, and do we really think it needs a special court? Shouldn’t the Florida courts be focusing on the glut of criminal and alligator-bite matters?

I admit, however, that I may not understand the court situation in Florida, so let’s move on to episode 91 — “Why are women leaving the law?” This is definitely a test for your logical skills.

By the way, I should note here that there seems to be a different news anchor every week. I can only assume that means each one of them is fully occupied researching their stories.

Anyway, 91 features videos of a series of women at computers. Most of them have coffee cups because, I guess, women lawyers are thirsty. The premise of the story is that while women make up half the graduates from law schools these days, a large percentage of them retire from the profession by the age of 50. The bar, supposedly, is studying ways to fix this problem.

But, clearly, this is not a problem. We shouldn’t be asking why women are leaving at 50 — we should be asking why men are staying at 50. What is wrong with these guys? Don’t they know they’ve made enough money? All that work is not good for them.

If you want equality, make men retire at 50, take paternity leave, and wear high heels. Problem solved.

Finally, I have to recommend Episode 82, in which we learn that some Florida lawyers bring their dogs to work. As a long-time journalist, this blew my mind. It’s not man bites dog and it’s not dog bites man — it’s just dog and man hanging out.

This is truly innovative news coverage.

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