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A Spiritual Era

January 23, 2017

We may be living in a new era of spirituality. With the state of the world these days – assuming the world is still around when and if you’re able to read this – we’re going to have to find ways to calm ourselves down.

Milt Policzer

By Milt Policzer

Courthouse News columnist; racehorse owner and breeder; one of those guys who always got picked last.

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We may be living in a new era of spirituality. With the state of the world these days – assuming the world is still around when and if you’re able to read this – we’re going to have to find ways to calm ourselves down.

It’s OK to be outraged but you can’t save the world if you’ve given yourself a stroke.

So I expect to see a lot more of the sort of thing that a legal-insurance company called ARAG offered last week, in an article titled “Using Mindfulness to find Work/Life Balance.”

The author recommends the usual sort of thing – deep breaths and focusing on your own body. I’m not sure why this is on the legal-insurance company’s site but the article is immediately followed by a link for lawyers to learn how to get new clients by signing on as a network lawyer.

Maybe they wanted lawyers to mellow out before thinking about joining up. If you’re mellow, you may not be too critical.

Not that there’s anything to be critical about. It’s kind of hard to tell whether this company is a good thing or not but their website does invite us to “join the conversation” on a series of social platforms.

Just for the heck of it, I clicked on the Facebook link.

The first two comments from clients included: “I have used them twice and both experiences were not that great.”

And: “Worst Layers (sic) in Orlando to deal with.”

This may be why they’re seeking calmer lawyers.

Anyway, I’m not going to say anything bad about meditation. But since it may not work for everyone, I feel I should note that there are other ways to blot out the real, awful world.

Drinking and drugs are obvious options but not terribly healthful. I don’t, however, think it’s a coincidence that in these turbulent times, marijuana is getting legal in more and more places.

But there are alternatives. Consider, for example, a fellow named Rael, the “Messenger of the Elohim.”

According to his website: “At the age of 27, on the morning of December 13, 1973, while he was still leading his successful racing-car magazine, RAEL had a dramatic encounter with a human being from another planet, at a volcano park in the center of France.”

I’m not sure whether to be more surprised that this guy thinks he met a human from another planet or that there’s a volcano park in France (but, apparently, it’s real).

And if aliens enjoy volcano hikes, why aren’t there more sightings in Yellowstone?

Rael also recommends some form of meditation, and also human cloning to become eternal. I know I’d be a lot calmer if I could trade in my elderly body for a nice young one whenever I wanted.

Rael, who is an advocate for masturbation, came to my attention last week because he apparently is also the founder of GoTopless.org, a group that issued a press release with the headline “2017 is ‘Equal Topless Rights Year’ for Women, Organization Says.”

Apparently, this is a feminist issue. The GoTopless president (a woman) is quoted in as saying: “Equal gender topless rights will empower today's women as much as equal gender voting rights empowered 20th century women."

And it’s something that men (and advocates for masturbation) can get behind. Or in front of.

I’m feeling less stressed just thinking about it.

By the way, is it just me, or does it seem odd that you can buy shirts at the GoTopless website? Seems counterproductive.

Tales of the Unexpected. I love it when I come across a lawsuit that takes a surprise turn.

This is from a recent Los Angeles Superior Court complaint against the Anaheim Ducks Hockey Club: “Plaintiff was at Microsoft Theater walking to the main kitchen to pick up her lunch when she was impacted by a soccer ball kicked by one of the members of the Anaheim Ducks Hockey Club ...”

I have so many questions.

Was the goalie in the kitchen? Did the Duck careen off the ice and mistake the ball for a puck?

Did someone accidentally leave the theater door open near a hockey game?

I’m thinking one of those Ducks has taken too many hits to the head.

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