The election is over

Those of you freaking out can stop worrying — Donald Trump has lost the election.

No, it’s not because he appointed Supreme Court justices that tossed Roe v. Wade.

No, it’s not because he tried to end democracy.

No, it’s not because he took children away from parents, accepted gifts from foreign governments, recommended quack medicines, billed the government for expensive stays at his properties, paid a porn star and grabbed pussies, cheated banks, threatened judges and prosecutors, ballooned the national deficit, or encouraged violence and racism.

Those are all the things that make Trump the beloved figure that he is today. There are many fans of chaos out there.

But the former president has finally made a fatal error: DJT.

That’s the ticker symbol for the special purpose acquisition company, aka SPAC, that merged with Trump Media & Technology Group last month. The stock opened at $70.90 a share.

In case you don’t know, SPACs, a lot like PACs, are another way to soak up money without saying too much about what it pays for.

Money poured in from Trump fans. The company’s market value was suddenly more than $8 billion.

A whole lot of pro-Trumpers are now going to lose gobs of money and they will be mad, oh so mad.

They’ll blame the media or Hunter Biden’s laptop and try to hang Jim Cramer, but enough of them will be disappointed enough to abandon their leader and that will swing the election. Money, as we all know, talks.

Game over.

So if you’re a lefty, what you need to do now is hype DJT any way you can. Pretend it’s a serious investment that can make you quick and easy money and don’t short it because that can backfire. Then sit back relax and watch the stock plummet.

And, remember, this is a conspiracy so don’t tell anyone what you’re doing.

DJT closed last Thursday at $46.15. The forces of democracy are beginning to work their magic.

Quick quiz: If Tennessee enacts a law that says its purpose is to protect female athletes from unfair competition from trans athletes who were born male, what does that state do when a trans athlete born female wants to join a male team?

Come on. You know the answer.

Yep. It happened. When a trans male golfer wanted to try out for a high school boys golf team, both the local board of education and Tennessee’s governor stepped in to stop it from happening.

The golfer — who apparently wasn’t even a good golfer — and his parents sued, and the board and governor filed motions for summary judgment based on the law protecting women athletes.

Why would they do this?

There’s a clue in a footnote to a federal judge’s ruling on the motions: “The court will use L.E.’s preferred pronouns, despite defendants’ objections, because the court extends this basic respect to every litigant.”

And the governor and board do not.

In case you’re wondering, the Tennessee Gender in Athletics law begins with a preface (i.e. excuse) that says “(A)llowing boys to compete in girls’ athletic competitions discriminates against girls by regularly resulting in boys displacing girls in competitive events … .”

Regularly?

It’s a wonder there are any women left in women’s sports.

And now Tennessee is trying to protect women from being tempted to turn male so they can play golf?

Now can you guess what was one of the state’s arguments to support its Gender in Athletics Law?

Yep — the law was “government speech.”

The federal judge, in a 48-page ruling, said the Tennessee Gender in Athletics Law shouldn’t apply to the trans golfer.

A few sentences should have sufficed.

Categories / Op-Ed