The case of the three Perrys

I have a new “not-guilty” pleasure.

I’ve been obsessed with Perry Mason and the radical difference between the new HBO version and the original TV series. But, for some reason, it hadn’t occurred to me until the other day that there’s another Perry Mason to consider — the Perry of the original novels.

I have now begun to read them.

OMG! There’s a radical difference between them and both television versions — except for also being over-the-top silly. If you haven’t read them, you will be entertained.

I started with the first one: "The Case of the Velvet Claws," published in 1933. Perry is a sole practitioner with piercing eyes, long fingers, broad shoulders and a dedication to fighting for his clients.

Literally.

You’ll marvel at Perry bribing a police detective, tailing a bad guy, throwing a butler against a wall, punching a goon in the mouth, and threatening an evil scandal rag publisher. And that’s just in the first third of the book.

Who needs discovery and subpoenas when you can pay a telephone operator to spy on a phone conversation?

You’ll also get some astonishing riveting dialog like this passage:

“You’re not a dick, just a lawyer?”

“Just a lawyer.”

“Okay,” she said. “What do you want?”

“Now you’re commencing to talk turkey.”

And It turns out that author Erle Stanley Gardner was a visionary. Part of the plot is about a politician trying to cover up an affair before an election — but needing an intermediary to deliver a payoff.

Sound familiar?

Comparing and contrasting the three Perrys is a case study (see what I did there?) in American historical evolution or non-evolution. Consider the following:

Book Perry (beginning in 1933): Perry is a no-nonsense, very self-confident fighter for his clients who knows the law very well and can pontificate on prosecutorial abuse. He’s tall, has long legs and a steely gaze.

Della Street is a hot babe in her 20s with perfect legs who’s smooching with Perry by the end of the first book. Perry needs to bring her almost everywhere so she can take notes.

Paul Drake is tall, has a slight stoop and “the manner of a professional undertaker making a midnight round of the mortuary.”

Lt. Tragg is suave, intelligent and a “dangerous antagonist.” District Attorney Hamilton Burger is a mountain of a man.

There’s casual racism because of, well, racism, and it was a long time ago.

Amazingly, all sales of guns are reported so weapons can be easily traced. There are some parts of America that actually should be made great again.

It is old-timey and delightful.

Network TV Perry (beginning in 1957): It’s in black and white.

Perry isn’t tall and he doesn’t rough anyone up. There’s no fondling of Della Street who is probably not a lesbian but there’s no way of knowing.

Paul Drake is tall, blond and definitely not an undertaker.

Lt. Tragg is neither handsome nor suave, and Hamilton Burger is an average-sized guy who seems to lose every case in court.

I haven’t seen every episode but there doesn’t seem to be any racism. This is probably because there is only one race to be seen.

Murderers are perfectly willing to confess in court in many episodes.

For some reason, I find all this delightful.

HBO Perry (beginning in 2020): It’s in color with some stunning cinematography.

Perry is kind of scrawny and a complete wreck haunted by the war in the first season. The war gets forgotten in season two but then he’s haunted by the death of his former client. He knows next to nothing about the law.

In one episode, Perry decides to break into the Santa Anita racetrack, steal a horse out of its stall, and ride around the track until someone fires a gun and he falls off. It does not advance the plot.

Della Street is a lesbian law student who does all the real legal work and, despite not being a lawyer yet, questions a witness in court. She is not being fondled by Perry — but, for no reason, has a nude scene that does not advance the plot.

Paul Drake is a Black former cop who has to deal with racism. The non-Black cops are racist and corrupt — particularly Sgt. Holcomb (who’s a minor character in the previous Perry incarnations). Holcomb, amazingly, is both a full-time cop and a casino owner.

Hamilton Burger is gay and doesn’t argue in court against Perry but sometimes he just sits at the prosecutor’s table. He also utters my favorite line in the series (from episode 5): “Mason passed the bar with only a few hours studying. He’s a lot craftier than you think.”

There are so many scenes that make no sense that it’s dumbfounding and also a delight.

What can we learn from this?

You can decide for yourself but I have three takeaways:

One: Our hero has been cut down to size over the years. Our villains, however, are far more sinister and complex.