New Holiday Could Go Up in Smoke

Should April 20 be a national holiday? I don’t know, but I have a feeling it may become one by default. I realized this because the Ninth Circuit last week ruled against a lawyer who claimed his First Amendment rights were violated because the City of Arcata wouldn’t allow a 4/20 day celebration in a park.

It’s not clear from the ruling what this lawyer would have expressed had he been allowed to celebrate, but the inference is that it would have been a laid-back minimalist sort of communication, because he didn’t get around to suing for four years and didn’t try to get back to the park on subsequent 4/20s.

If he’d just gotten off the couch and put some effort into celebrating 4/20, there could have been a different outcome.

Be that as it may, this case presents some fascinating questions and hints at a brand new American tradition. If city officials around the nation decide it’s necessary to shut down public facilities for the day, we might as well start shopping for greeting cards.

Send your mom a box of munchies on April 20.

The questions are pretty obvious.

Why does a lawyer spend years in court, going up to a federal court of appeals, so he can celebrate pot one day a year?

Why does a city spend years in court defending its right to stop a pot celebration in a park one day a year?

Is there not enough to do Arcata?

I thought the last question was the key here, so I checked out Arcata, California —2014 population: 17,730 — on Trip Advisor. To my surprise, there was a list of 18 things to do.

My favorite was number 9: “Humboldt Crabs Baseball.”

I was so hoping it was watching crabs play ball in a round plastic swimming pool, but it turned out that the Crabs are a human baseball team.

Go, Crabs!

Number 8 is the Arcata Theatre Lounge, which has some of the most astonishingly positive reviews I’ve ever seen.

Like this one: “Wow! This place is the best sounding music venue in the country. I have never seen a bad show and have seen some totally AMAZING shows there! I highly recommend checking out anything there.”

That reviewer either owns the place or is a guy who will want to celebrate 4/20 day.

One last question for your speculation: Is it possible that the Ninth Circuit had a hard time finding judges who could be neutral on the issue of marijuana celebration?

Judges are under a lot of pressure. This could be understandable.

I say this because there’s an odd thing about this ruling – one of the three judges on this case heard in San Francisco was sitting by designation. She was a judge from Pennsylvania.

It may have required a nationwide search to find her.

 

Forbidden Domains. Here’s another question you probably haven’t considered: What sort of business does Penthouse have?

In case you’re not familiar with Penthouse, it’s a magazine and website with naked lady pictures and I guess some articles. At least that’s what I’m told.

So this partial sentence from a 56-page, highly-detailed-because-you-have-to-really-study-these-kinds-of-issues, ruling of the D.C. Chancery Court last week may surprise you: “hornywife, like the other Disputed Domains, was not associated with, used in, or material to the Penthouse business.”

Some of those other disputed domains included boobfarm.com and nakedwithfood.com (which sounds delicious).

Apparently Penthouse is much too tasteful for that sort of thing.

Covfefe.

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