The Chosen One Speaks

     Lost in the hullabaloo surrounding CBS’s decision to air an anti-abortion commercial during the Super Bowl (don’t kid yourself, that’s what it is), is the level of arrogance on display with all involved with the ad itself.
     In case you’re unfamiliar with the controversy, CBS is planning on airing a 30-second advertisement sometime during the game that has been paid for by conservative religious group Focus on the Family. Focus on the Family is led by Dr. James Dobson, he of the belief that same-sex marriage “will lead to marriage between daddies and little girls.” Right off the bat you know you’re not dealing with a full deck.
     Anyway, the spot will feature ex-Florida Gator quarterback and former Heisman trophy winner Tim Tebow and his mother. In the interest of full disclosure I went to Florida State and despise Florida to the core of my bones, and have had to suffer through the last four years of hearing how Tebow walks on water, cures the sick, single-handedly won two national championships, invented the forward pass, the shotgun formation and the quarterback draw, and is unquestionably the greatest college football player of all time.
     I swear I’m not bitter. Tebow seems like a nice enough guy. He is a fervent evangelical who makes trips to the Philippines with his father to minister to kids there, proselytizes to prisoners, etc. etc. I’ve got nothing against him, other than wanting him to fail miserably in the NFL so I can watch how quickly Florida fans stop talking about him lest his pro career gets mentioned.
     The commercial reportedly will feature Tebow’s mom Pam, who was advised by doctors in 1987 to abort Tim for medical reasons. Already the mother of children, she rejected the advice and carried Tim to term. I’m sure there will be some slowly enunciated words drawled with all the sap you can wring out of a collection of consonants and vowels.
     Good for her. I have no problem with that. As a parent, I understand how hard it would be to face that decision. I can’t say I would do the same thing because I wouldn’t know the answer to that until faced with the decision, but that’s a nice story.
     The arrogance comes into play by assuming that, if Pam Tebow had made the other decision, the world would have been deprived of worshipping at the feet of a kid who plays a game for other people’s entertainment. I mean, if Tim Tebow hadn’t been born Florida would have obviously had to shutter its football program, the local panhandler down at the stoplight (read: your typical Florida fan) would be facing a much crueler existence, and the world as a whole would have had to endure the last four years utterly without hope, experiencing periodic chaos and constant instability.
     Seriously? Who outside of his own family and those in the “Gator Nation” (and can we shelve that phrase permanently, please; it’s beyond grating which means, obviously, it began with Red Sox fans) cares whether Tim Tebow was born or not?
     Because he plays football I guess he’s just that special. Clearly society couldn’t get by without those guys.
     My mind’s already made up about abortion. I can’t think of any other message to take from the advertisement.

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