I Like It

     Social media can be tricky.
     Sure, you can reach the masses, but it doesn’t work if the masses don’t know you’re there.
     I could be wrong, but I’m guessing promotion in a lawsuit isn’t the best way to reach the masses.
     I bring this up because I found this in a Los Angeles lawsuit the other day: “Consumers may obtain information about this lawsuit on Facebook: Facebook.com/CitibankLawsuit.”
     Consumers, that is, who regularly read lawsuits.
     Check out the link to find out how successful this education campaign has been.
     As of this writing, there’s one “like.”
     I’m guessing the guy who put up the page (apparently a Beverly Hills lawyer) tested the liking system.
     Your next challenge is obtaining information about “this lawsuit” if you’ve managed to find the Facebook page.
     As far as I can tell, there isn’t any information about the lawsuit there. Maybe I missed it, but if I have, that’s a serious marketing failure.
     OK, I know this lawsuit is an aberration, but brings to mind two interesting questions.
     Should you promote your lawsuit on Facebook?
     If so, how should you go about it?
     The answer to the first question is that it depends on what kind of lawsuit you’ve filed and whether there are any pictures of your client drunk.
     If drunk client pictures are likely to appear, avoid Facebook, unless the basis of your lawsuit is that someone should have known better than to take advantage of your drunk client.
     The sort of lawsuit you want on Facebook is the kind you’re sure you’re going to win. Remember that the primary purpose of Facebook appears to be self-embarrassment. Think of how your firm will stand out if you’re not embarrassed.
     Be sure not to allow access to the page to firm family members.
     Facebook is an excellent tool in cases in which discovery is vital. You may not be able to get anyone to admit to sexual harassment in depositions, but selfies don’t lie.
     Once you’ve decided to post a lawsuit on Facebook, promote it with the kindest, most heartwarming tool you have: friendship. Send friend requests to everyone you can think of.
     Then tweet a link to your page using every trending hashtag and some attention-grabbers.
     Examples: #scumbag, #fartjoke, #porn, #weasels, #delicious, #gourmet, #love, #hate, #indifference, #policzer, #threeway.
     It’s not your fault if some people have dirty minds.
     You’ll be viral in no time.
     Quote of the Week: “Orton-Bell insists that she only admitted to this after she was told that hugging and kissing constituted sexual intercourse, and that was all she meant. (And because we are reviewing a grant of summary judgment to the state, we accept her statement as true.)”
     The aforementioned Orton-Bell has a degree in psychology. I’m guessing she may have missed a class or two.
     The quote is from Orton-Bell v. Indiana , a July 21 ruling from the 7th Circuit, in which we learn that the staff at the Pendleton Correctional Facility has been having a lot of fun.
     Or is pretty disgusting, depending on your point of view.
     The ruling, I have to warn you, is for mature audiences only, so I know that the immature among you will go read it immediately.
     I won’t spoil it by revealing all the juicy details, but I have to note that it’s a little confusing. The plaintiff seems to be complaining about sexual harassment but also complaining that she was fired because she had sex.
     Finding just the right amount of sex at work can be tricky.
     There was also this: “An investigator, who had been looking for security breaches, discovered that night-shift employees were having sex on Orton-Bell’s desk and informed her. That investigator told her that he was not concerned about night-shift staff having sex but suggested she should probably wash off her desk every morning.”
     That’s what happens when your desk is too neat.

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