An Endorsement

     I’d like to be the first to publicly endorse Zenyatta for governor of California.
     She has the popularity, she has the determination, she has the will to win no matter what the opposition.
     And she fits nicely into the state’s tradition of imposing physical specimen governors.
     She won’t have any trouble getting funding for a campaign. She’s already independently wealthy and she has established connections to the elite in the music industry.
     Imagine how delightful the election season will be. Sure, she’s unlikely to answer questions or participate in debates, but won’t it be a relief not to be subject to the usual barrage of rhetoric?
     And when she wins, we’ll see her dance.
     
     HUH? The next portion of this column is devoted to those of you who have absolutely no idea whom I’ve been talking about.
     See if you can figure it out. Is Zenyatta:
     
     A. A masked Mexican wrestler who recently teamed with Rey Mysterio to win the WWE tag team title.
     B. Enya’s émigré sister.
     C. The latest creation from manga artist Rumiko Takahashi.
     D. The heroic, inspirational character to be featured in the next film produced by Oprah Winfrey and Kanye West.
     
     Think about it….
     OK. If you picked any of the above, you’re almost as silly as I am.
     It’s none of the above. (Hey, it’s my column. I don’t have to play by any rules.)
     Now go to your favorite search engine and find the answer. You’ll be glad you did.
     
     CHARACTER ISSUE. Hardly anyone ever wants to look inward for blame.
     Apparently, prosecutors in Illinois, instead of (or maybe in addition to) investigating their own office, have decided to subpoena records relating to Northwestern University journalism students who have been exposing wrongful convictions.
     According to reports, the subpoenas ask for the grades, grading criteria, class syllabus, expense reports and e-mail messages of the journalism students.
     Why?
     Well, again according to a news report, a spokesperson for the County District Attorney said one reason was that they were concerned that students might be getting higher grades if they decided the person they were investigating was innocent.
     Apparently someone thinks you can get a better grade by making up a cool story than by providing verifiable source material.
     That would make much more sense in the real journalism world.
     Still, there’s an interesting logical extension here. Why not subpoena the salary rates, promotional records, and expense reports of professional news people who claim to have uncovered scandals?
     After all, they might make more money if they conclude someone did something wrong. Heck, they’d probably be fired (if they weren’t already downsized) if they didn’t find anything exciting.
     Actually, what I’d like to see are law students investigating professional journalists to see if anyone was wrongly accused in print (or on screen) to see if anyone should be prosecuted.
     Symmetry is only fair.

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