Yes, He Can

“Twelve Angry Men” starring Barack Obama!

I so want to see this production.

In case you missed it, it’s been reported that the former president has been called for jury duty in Cook County, Illinois and plans to show up for it. Clearly, he had no choice — imagine what Fox News would say if he declined.

It’s not as if he didn’t have lots of reasons not to serve. Imagine the Chicago traffic jams caused by the ex-presidential limo and all those Secret Service cars. Imagine the prospective juror room with no room for other possible jurors because of the security and media. Imagine other jurors considering disagreeing with a former president.

There’s so much to imagine here, so let’s go ahead and do some picturing.

Voir dire, for example. What do you ask Barack Obama to detect possible bias?

 

COUNSEL: Juror 44, what do you for a living?

44: I’m … retired … although I do … occasionally … earn speaking fees.

THE COURT: Juror 44, please speak more quickly. We have a lot to get through this morning.

44: I will do my utmost … to accommodate … your reasonable request. The American people deserve….

THE COURT: Stop right there. Counsel, please continue.

COUNSEL:  Yes, your honor. Now, juror 44, have you any relation at all to the parties in this case?

44: Yes, they were my … employers.

COUNSEL: Which party?

44: All of them — the entire .. nation. I was president … for all people, no matter their race…, political affiliation…, economic condition….

COURT: We get the idea.

COUNSEL: What are your views on minorities and their relations with police officers?

44: The overwhelming majority … of police officers do an incredibly … hard and dangerous … job fairly and professionally…, but the United States has an unfortunate … history of racial tension….

COURT: Let’s move on.

COUNSEL: Do you feel that our judicial system can continue to function despite the continued existence of Obamacare?

44: Yes it can.

 

Now imagine you’re one of the attorneys questioning potential juror Obama. How do you avoid the tweet storm if you excuse the ex-president? How do you avoid the tweet storm if you don’t excuse the ex-president? Should you plan on going into hiding?

Next, imagine Obama getting on a jury. What happens when it comes time to elect a foreman? What if there are Republicans on the jury? Could there be a filibuster?

This could be so much fun.

 

Favorite tweet of the week:

I’d be intimidated by that counsel.

 

Passing thought. It never occurred to me before but, after seeing someone in a Halloween costume last week, I realized that it’s hard to tell the difference between a judge and a gospel singer.

The robes look the same.

I now want to see a judge singing a hymn and swaying on the bench.

And I want to see a choir singer holding someone in contempt.

%d bloggers like this: