The World’s Best Column

Go ahead – call me a cynic. Really, do it. You know I deserve it. Now that you’ve gotten that out of your system, allow me to demonstrate once again why your assessment is accurate.

I opened up my local newspaper the other day (thereby confirming that I’m elderly) and spotted a remarkable advertisement. The ad, which apparently had been placed by a local law firm, offered congratulations to a radio show hosted by one of the firm’s name partners for “receiving the Gold Medal for the world’s best radio program at the 2017 New York Festivals Radio Program Awards in New York City.”

Wow! That’s impressive. The world’s best radio program!
Is this possible?

Cynicism reared its ugly head.

I know a normal person would look at that ad and either immediately forget it or just chuckle. But I needed to know more. After all, I could be missing out on a vital piece of culture by not listening to the world’s greatest radio program.

But I don’t think so.

It turns out that there are quite a few best radio programs and all they had to do to be recognized was pay an entry fee.

OK, I don’t really know that. It may be possible that all the world’s radio program producers entered this competition. If that happened, the New York Festivals World’s Best Radio Programs, which is part of the New York Festivals International Family of Award Competitions, is one wealthy institution.

In order to be considered for an award, an entrant must first pay $295 for a single program or $395 for a series. And if you win, you can purchase your own trophy.

The one that the local lawyer is holding in the ad is the “Gold – Art Deco Radio Trophy” which can you be yours for $495.

Just because you’re the best doesn’t mean you get anything for free.

Now are you wondering what the competition for this award was like?

It’s hard to say because there’s doesn’t seem to be any list of nominees. But if you check the “regulations” for the competition, you find this: “Individual entries are evaluated for their intrinsic merits – without comparing them with others. Each entry is, in effect, in competition with itself.”

The intense self-competition is apparently rewarding – there seem to be about 340 award winners.

By the way, when you’re hot, you’re hot. The same lawyer who hosts the world’s best radio show has also been named Man of the Year by the International Association of Top Professionals – a company you can hire to build your branding empire.

Recommendation: If you want some truly entertaining reading, go to the “Testimonials” section of the IAOTP website. Here are a couple of my favorites:

“Sherwin Brook said: ‘looks good’”

“Terrie Lea Fatoni said: ‘They were my first award, they’ve always came to my mind talking about awards, of how they found me. Which was from the Lord, because that’s where my journey begin getting more awards. Even though I’m not taking advantage of what I can do on my web-site, I know in God’s time I have one of the best web sites.’”

I’m guessing it will be the world’s best website.

Give it a listen. Champions of Justice, aka the world’s best radio program, is available as a podcast, so naturally, I had to check out a recent episode.

I decided to do this while driving to work last week even though I knew I’d be laughing hysterically – and probably losing control of the car – if one of the first things I heard was a certain Queen song.

They wouldn’t use that, would they? That’s way too on-the-nose.

Within seconds, I was laughing hysterically. It’s a wonder I survived the drive and no one else was injured.

Maybe this is the world’s greatest radio show. I know I was entertained.

As for the rest of the program – if you enjoy listening to people tell each other how wonderful they are, this show is for you.

You are the champions, my friends.

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