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Woman sues over delivery of chocolate penis

Only a nation with the entrepreneurial spirit of the United States could think up a white-glove delivery service called "Dick at Your Door."

(CN) — In an unequivocal sign of the impending apocalypse, a company called Dick at Your Door got sued in Ventura County, California, Superior Court by a woman who complained she received a five-inch chocolate penis that she did not order. 

Plaintiff Linda Parks says the offensive chocolate phallus was delivered to her house in Ventura County this past June without explanation and that when she followed up with the owners of Dick at Your Door, her attempts to verify the identity of the person who made the delivery were rebuffed. 

“Defendants … despite their public disclosures of persons contracted for sending their sick ‘novelties’, failing and refusing to disclose the person responsible for the offensive and outrageous conduct alleged herein,” Parks says in a terse two-page complaint filed Tuesday. 

Parks says she believes Dick at Your Door is no longer solvent and is incapable of answering the complaint. But she accuses the people behind the company of using it as a shell through which to divert funds to themselves. 

However, a general internet search reveals there is indeed a company that will send chocolate facsimiles of penises in a box with the phrase “Eat a Dick” embossed on the underside of the box top. Fun options include a box that on the outside looks like a Covid-19 at-home vaccine kit but actually contains a more modestly sized chocolate phallus.

Parks seeks damages including punitive damages on a single claim of intentional infliction of emotional distress. Besides Dick at Your Door, named defendants include parent company Rain Parade LLC and its owners Adam Hascall and Bryan Pritz.

“The actions of defendants were outrageous, intentional and malicious,” Parks says in her complaint.

Emails to both the company and Parks' attorney Richard Francis seeking comment went unreturned as of press time.

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