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Friday, December 8, 2023 | Back issues
Courthouse News Service Courthouse News Service

The Ninth Circuit of Hell

I have yet another item for your "Why Are These People Litigating?" file. The case is Christian Legal Society Chapter of the University of California, Hastings College of Law v. Wu, a ruling from the U. S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit.

Apparently this case has gone all the way to the U. S. Supreme Court and then back down again to the District Court and back up the 9th Circuit. It's got legs.

What's so important?

The Christian student group is upset because the university has a nondiscrimination policy that requires most student groups to accept any student as a member if the group wants assorted benefits from the school.

The Christian group doesn't want to have to include voting members and/or officers that don't agree with its religious views.

Think about this for a moment. Bear in mind that an awful lot of time and money has been spent litigating this dispute.

Now are you wondering what I'm wondering?

Is the Christian Legal Society at the Hastings College of Law in danger of being overrun by non-Christians?

Is there a secret heathen conspiracy to take over Christian groups and funnel their budgets underground (to you-know-where)? Are there an inordinate number of "begats" in the weekly scripture readings and is that a keg in the foyer?

How big a problem could this be?

I guess we'll find out if the Society loses this case and asks for school funding for an ecumenical orgy.

Or maybe the devil made them do this litigation.

THE POINT OF CAKE. The Los Angeles Times this week released the results of a poll that - shockingly - revealed that most voters don't want to pay taxes but they don't want any cutbacks in services either.

This is supposed to be contradictory but, obviously, it isn't. We all want free stuff. What's the point in having a cake if you can't eat it?

So instead of wringing hands over this we need to be coming up with ways to make it happen.

For example: the volunteer government.

How hard could most of those civil service jobs be anyway? I figure anyone could do most of them. We could volunteer to do them.

Imagine the fun you could have making people line up for hours at the DMV or stopping cars because the drivers look shady.

Think of all the people you know who own guns that would love to be police officers in their spare time.

Or if volunteerism doesn't fill all the positions, it could be like jury duty. You could be summoned to leave your job for two weeks so you can regulate insurance companies.

What about all the government jobs lost?

Not to worry. We all know how tax-cutting has created jobs - don't we?

Well, maybe it hasn't, but extreme tax-cutting has got to leave some money freed up for something. You could hire a former government worker to mow your lawn or do the dishes. The economy will be in great shape.

TWILIGHT ZONING. The following is from a recent Los Angeles Superior Court suit over a $2.5 million real estate purchase:

"Defendants misrepresented that the property was zoned for plaintiffs' intended use - soccer fields - when, in reality, it can only be used for a brackish pond."

Water polo anyone?

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