Milt

I just want to say I’m sorry. I’ve been openly skeptical of public apologies in the past — most people are only sorry after getting caught. Hardly anyone who hasn’t been jailed or publicly shamed says they’re sorry.

I love it when something completely weird suddenly appears in the middle of an otherwise serious document. This is from a federal court ruling in Florida last week: “While walking to the car, one of the officers mocked plaintiff, saying, ‘You have lipstick on you sir, you have lipstick on you sir, now you need heels, now you need heels.’”

The California Supreme Court last month approved 69 new and/or updated rules of professional conduct and I know that all of you diligent lawyers out there are already completely familiar with them.

I’ve been obsessing about math and branding this past week because I’m confused. You might have thought it wasn’t possible after 2016, but marketing and election campaigning may be getting weirder.

The U.S. Supreme Court has finally solved the judicial financial crisis. In case you missed it, the court last week said states can legalize gambling. Is there a sport more compelling than litigation?

GIFs are like jokes — if you have to explain them, what’s the point? I feel I have to make this clear because a federal judge in Florida the other day got a little bit of news coverage because he sort of used a GIF in a ruling footnote and then felt compelled to explain what it means.

We, as a country, need to work harder on our conspiracy theories. It takes a lot of imagination and a very straight face to come up with good explanations for stuff we know nothing about and I sometimes think America’s pundits are getting lazy. Their ideas are losing their entertainment value.

I know judges are supposed to be unbiased, but we all know that’s impossible. The trick to successful judging is to pretend you’re not biased.

Truth — does it always matter? We’re so obsessed with fake news and lying politicians and foreign and domestic manipulators of fact these days that it’s easy to forget that truth doesn’t always matter.

Remember last week? Last week I warned lonely lawyers out there to beware Russians and marketers selling consulting services. Now remember me: I’m Milt Policzer, PS —    professional skeptic. It’s not an official title — if it were, I’d have doubts about it.

I was on the freeway stuck in slow traffic last Wednesday, listening to an Angels game when I heard an unexpected thing: “We’ve heard from the country of Russia. That’s a first for Angels Social Media Day.”

I admit I have zero expertise in marketing. But I’m a consumer like everyone else, so I do have some idea of what works and what doesn’t work, on me, at least. And when someone asks me to trust them, it seems to me that the request ought to be coming from someone I might trust.

Does man ever bite dog? OK, hot dog maybe, but not actual canine. At least not normally. I bring this up because one of the basic tenets of journalism has never made any sense to me. We’re taught that man bites dog is news and that dog bites man is not. Isn’t the opposite true?

I love it when a lawsuit presents a fascinating legal question – the kind you could use for a law school hypothetical discussion or a moot court competition.

I have surprising news for at least some of you out there: the U. S. Supreme Court may be about to reverse Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission. No, you haven’t awakened in an alternate universe. This could really happen.

Apparently, some of you need more to do. Life is way too easy. I know this — or at least I think I do — because a Columbia law professor has written a New York Times op-ed column complaining at length about convenience. The article was so long that I felt inconvenienced.

The Age of Volatility is upon us. Not only is the stock market gyrating, but so are law school application rates.

I know this is an era of hype but sometimes I wonder if headline writers — and some news writers and editors — think before proclaiming a new trend. Case in point: reports that the new federal tax law is going to create a surge in divorce filings.

It’s tough being a journalist these days, but the work is more important than ever. So when a news person goes above and beyond the norm to get the full story, we need to show our appreciation. There was a great example of this kind of reporting last week in The Los Angeles Times that you may not have noticed if you didn’t read the whole story.