Milt

Sometimes I don’t know how to react — which, I know, is a reaction itself but I’d rather not be confused thinking about that. Anyway, I mention this because I had a confused nonreaction/reaction recently to a New York Times piece about bias at the U.S. Supreme Court.

I have a multiple-choice question for you. Where did I find the following passage: “Caymus is one of the most celebrated winemakers in California. A leader in the state’s $40 billion wine industry, Caymus is world famous for its Special Selection Cabernet Sauvignon, the only wine ever honored twice as Wine Spectator magazine’s ‘Wine of the Year.’”

If you’re healthy, are you disabled? Before you answer, let me warn you that this is a trick question. The answer is … maybe.

When life gives you lemons, consider planting an orange tree. You don’t have to use the lemons if they don’t suit your needs. I point this out because the New York State Bar Association last week tweeted a message from the state’s chief judge saying, “Given current conditions in New York — including public health concerns, social distancing guidelines, and crowd density restrictions — it is clear that seating capacity for the September bar examination will be limited.”

Someone needs to call Guinness. There are criminals out there setting records.

Is it sexist to be in favor of female toplessness? Or is it sexist to be against female toplessness? As a male, I feel this is not a choice I can make without being sexist, so pretend I never asked the questions.

Never let anyone tell you that news coverage is objective. Reporters have to be subjective to decide what’s important to tell you. Case in point: the stories last week about the Broward County, Florida judge complaining about how lawyers appeared on Zoom for hearings.

Here’s another activity for those of you stuck at home and bored. Joe Biden has announced he’ll pick a woman

I have another indoor activity for those of you stuck at home these days: answering unasked questions. Read lawsuits or court rulings and then ponder the issues you feel have been neglected.

It occurred to me the other day after hearing that someone I knew was an “influencer” that I’d never been influenced. At least not that I know of. So why haven’t I been influenced and how do you become an influencer in the first place?

Remember Kim Jong-un? You know, Asian guy on the chubby side, flat top, likes to shoot missiles and do away with relatives. I bet you haven’t thought of him in a while, but he’s still there attacking the ocean. Have you considered why you haven’t worried about him lately?

If you get a divorce, shouldn’t you expect that your ex-spouse might not say nice things about you? Shouldn’t you expect the ex to say bad things about you? Of course you should.

You’re welcome, America. I’m always happy when I’ve inspired a mass movement.