Fascinating Scenes

Some fascinating lines in court rulings this past week. Here are some of my favorites: “At the time of Yarbrough’s hire, the Board knew that this was his first job working with students in a school setting; prior to working at Fernwood (Elementary School), Yarbrough was a bouncer at the Red Diamond Strip Club.” (Wordlow v. Chicago Board of Education)

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Judge Risks Divine Retribution

I hate it when a judge’s opinion tantalizes you with a possibly fascinating discussion and then you get nothing but a conclusion. You’d think God would deserve more than that. Case in point: a ruling from a federal judge in the District of Columbia last week in Mark K. Bowser v. Donald J. Trump, in which the plaintiff claimed to be God and that his identity had been stolen. Considering who the defendant was, this seemed quite possible.

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Negative Action

If not Yale or Harvard, then where? If you’re in, say, a boardroom with a bunch of people from Yale and Harvard, do you need someone from Appalachian State (which I’m sure is a fine institution) to balance things out? Do things need to be balanced out?

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Efficiency Guidelines

If you’ve been bar mitzvahed, should you get some respect? Why should you wait until you’re 14 before being addressed as “Mr.” or “Ms.”? I ask these questions because of an odd sentence that appeared last week in a ruling from a federal judge in Los Angeles: “Do not address witnesses over age 14 by their first names.” Thirteen-year-olds are fair game.

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How to Goof Off

If you have nothing better to do and/or you need some summertime reading, you might want to take a look at a Notice of Formal Charges issued the other day by the Florida Judicial Qualifications Commission. Feel free to base a novel on the many fascinating tidbits in the 150 pages of exhibits detailing the frantic life of a jurist who doesn’t quite seem to have his act together.

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