Pioneering Florida

I already knew Florida got a bad rap and there was proof of that fact last week. In case you don’t know, we all get to make fun of weird people in Florida because the state makes police reports public and easily accessible to nosy newsers. So we get the funny stories.

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Politics in Court

I know that courts are political these days, but does it really matter in a misdemeanor, small claims or traffic court? And how exactly do you define improper political statements in court? Shouldn’t the entire U.S. Supreme Court be disqualified from hearing anything controversial because all the justices seem pretty political?

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An Infected Government

The thin plastic tube sprouting from a vein in my biceps leads straight to my heart — the anterior vena cava — and I dump antibiotics into it twice a day from little science fiction-y rubbery globes. How I got a staphylococcus infection in my spine remains a mystery, even to my excellent doctors and nurses, but take it from me that spending three weeks on one’s back gives a guy plenty of time to think.

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Carnivorous Sheep

After 36 years of cowardice, Democrats are yammering — no, whimpering — that the voters who elected Trump are not to blame for our national disaster. That if we appeal to them, millions of morons might be lifted away from their slavish truculence and led toward the light, lashed by the whips and scorns of reality. Nothing could be more ridiculous.

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Freeway Association

One of the advantages of driving around Los Angeles County and getting stuck in traffic is that there’s time for contemplation and occasional inspiration. Inspiration hit last week while I was crawling down a freeway and listening to Marketplace on the radio. They were talking about a new labor shortage – in the career field of Border Patrol agent.

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Idiots’ Delight

Among the idiotic policies proposed by our president is that every time a new federal regulation is adopted, two must be identified for elimination. What about a rule that could prevent an Ebola epidemic? Should two medical rules be abolished? Or would killing a rule on ground beef and one on school lunches be sufficient? And what sense would it make either way?

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