Stopping crime with litigation

How is a car like a woman?

Well, not at all, really. But a couple of recent lawsuits on opposite coasts have created an odd similarity: victim-blaming.

The City of New York in New York and a bunch of State Farm Insurance companies in Los Angeles and have both filed federal lawsuits against Hyundai Motor America and Kia America for making it too easy to steal their cars.

They’re just too darn tempting for their own good.

The cars are not equipped with “immobilizers” or other anti-theft features that prevent them from being started and driven. “This security vulnerability makes the Defendants’ vehicles dangerously easy to steal,” the LA suit says.

If you don’t know how to steal a Kia, you can refer to viral “Kia Challenge” TikTok videos. It’s a trend!

You can see why insurance companies might be mad. They’re losing money paying what they’ve contracted to pay. New York’s lawsuit cites another motivation for suing: “There is an inextricable link between preventing vehicle theft and protecting public safety. Making sure cars are not easy to steal protects both property and the public by keeping dangerous drivers in stolen vehicle off the roads.”

If you ignore laws against theft, you’ll probably ignore speed limits and stop signs, too. I think that’s the reasoning.

It’s not only the thieves who are the problem, according to New York — “owners who notice their cars are being stolen may attempt to physically engage with the perpetrator to prevent the theft or may attempt to recover their stolen vehicles whey they are still being driven by the perpetrators.”

Since their cars have been stolen, I guess owners run really fast to catch up. Perhaps heart attacks and pulled muscles are the problem.

The Hyundai and Kia thefts have also “drastically impacted NYPD and other city resources.”

Drastically!

New York wants the cars declared a public nuisance. State Farm wants reimbursement for damages.

In other words, State Farms wants to be paid after it willingly insured people who willingly paid for cars without immobilizers. And New York wants to be paid by the carmaker for a crime wave and chaos in the city caused by persons who, presumably, aren’t working for Hyundai or Kia.

Thieves and the creators of how-to-thieve videos are not named defendants.

Hmmm.

One might have thought the problem could be solved with some press conferences and public education to steer car buyers (literally) away from Kias or motivate the car maker to install immobilizers. Corporations famously don’t like it when you discourage people from buying their stuff. But why do that when you can spend years in court?

Expect litigation next against the U.S. Mint for producing cash that’s irresistible to thieves.

In the meantime, I’d advise against buying a Kia. You don’t want to end up chasing it down the street on foot.

Alleged reason for a lawsuit in Los Angeles last week by the former director of “Jeopardy! "

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