Secret Elections

We have secret ballots, so why not secret candidates?

We shouldn't know whom we're voting for. Really. It would be good for democracy.

Consider how awful political life has become. To start off, you can't even think about running for office without a huge sum of money or people willing to give you a huge sum of money for campaigning. So you either spend a fortune or feel beholden to your benefactors.

And then you get attacked in public. Your opinions are distorted. And every last detail of your life gets examined so that someone can express outrage.

You can't make a joke without someone plastering it on YouTube and demanding an apology.

You can't spend a relaxing afternoon in a strip club or in an airport restroom without someone pretending to be shocked.

Even if you win the election, the badgering and hounding and campaigning doesn't stop.

Who would want to subject themself to this?

Well, politicians, of course. And you see what we end up with in office.

OK, politicians are entertaining. They're lots of fun to ridicule and such easy targets.

But do we want them running the country?

Now consider all the smart, competent people who don't run for office because they really don't need the aggravation.

There's a simple way to fix this: anonymous candidacy.

We don't need to know who's running for office. All we need to know is whether they're competent and how they feel about the issues of the day.

Imagine electing people on the basis of competence and philosophy.

You start with qualifying exams.

We wouldn't think about letting people drive without passing a test or operate on us without taking a class or two and passing a test. Why is it that any nitwit incompetent is allowed run the government?

So let us see resumes. Let us know that the candidates actually know something about the jobs they want.

And then put bags on their heads until the election is over.

No, wait. Keep the bags on their heads after the election. Let them do their work in peace without the stupefying speeches on C-Span.

How do we hold these people accountable?

Easy. If they mess up, we remove the bags.

Write your legislators. But don't tell them who you are.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? There are times when I just can't understand what's upsetting people.

Take the City of Bell, California (please).

If you're not in California or you've wisely refrained from paying attention to news, let me explain that there's been a lot of hand-wringing/whining about the Bell city manager getting more than a million dollars in salary and benefits and a bunch of other Bell officials being paid a lot too.

And the city appears to be unable to repay a $35 million bond debt.

So what's the problem?

Haven't we learned anything from Goldman Sachs and AIG?

Just give Bell some money. We need to take care of next year's bonuses.

It's the American way.

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