Seals of approval

I’m so confused.

Yes, I know that’s not unusual for me, but I think I have some pretty good reasons for mystification this time. The State Bar of California has announced that it is issuing bronze, silver and gold seals to legal employers “including law firms of all sizes, in-house legal departments, legal academia, nonprofit organizations, and government agencies with attorney staff.”

So do you get to go on the school field trip if you have a gold seal? Do you get a longer recess? Are there snacks?

Will your parents be invited to the awards assembly?

Bronze, silver and gold are valuable. Maybe you get to sell the seals on the open market?

As far as I can tell, the only sure value of a DEI gold seal is that you get to be sued by the Trump administration.

The only use for the seals explained by the Bar is that organizations “may use the seal on their own website and materials to signal their participation and recognition.”

Why would you advertise a bronze seal? Doesn’t bronze mean you’re sort of in favor of fairness but not totally committed to it?

The State Bar, by the way, seems kind of bronzish on this issue. Either that or confused about what DEI means.

Note the Bar’s note: “The State Bar does not require or encourage any DEI Leadership Seal applicant or participant to make any employment decisions based in whole or in part on any individual’s race, ethnicity, gender, gender identity, sex, sexual orientation, color, ethnicity, or national origin, or to otherwise treat any individual differently on these bases.”

So the diversity thing has to do with types of clothing?

This brings me to questions about DEI.

Where are the periods? Where are the spaces? Shouldn’t Dei without spaces and periods be the Latin name of a god – or, if you’re a Republican, the name of a demon?

If you’re against diversity, equity and inclusion are you in favor of homogeneity, unfairness and exclusion? Why aren’t Democrats complaining about HUE?

If you have diversity, don’t you have inclusion – and vice versa? The D and the I are redundant. For that matter, doesn’t equity include diversity and inclusion? There shouldn’t be three letters.

We need to call this concept E. Just one letter.

And then if you’re against the letter E, you can justify defunding Sesame Street. Those muppets have been promoting E for decades.

Quick quiz: A statement issued last week cited “serious human rights abuse, including arbitrary detention involving flagrant denials of fair trial guarantees and violations of the freedom of expression.”

Whose statement was this?

Think about it logically. I know you can figure this out.

Here’s the answer.

React appropriately.