Run free!

If you Google the average lifespan of a horse, the answer you get is 25 to 30 years.

Now try Googling “what age a horse should stop being ridden.”

Can you guess the answer?

Yep. 25 to 30 years. No point in riding a dead horse.

I bring this up just to note that horses don’t normally live as a long as humans. Six years of litigation is going to seem a whole lot longer to a horse than a human.

You know what I’m going to say next. A group of a dozen horses in New Mexico who once roamed free have been cooped up for the last six years while humans litigate over whether they should be allowed to roam free.

The dispute is described in a New Mexico Court of Appeals ruling in a suit brought by the Wild Horse Observers Association against the New Mexico Livestock Board, asking for an order declaring that a group of horses are “wild horses.”

How wild can you be if you’ve been corralled for six years? As far as I can tell, no one has asked for a horse opinion on this.

Why was there no bail posted for these horses?

OK, they might be a flight risk, but how far could they go? Ankle monitors should do the trick.

The dispute began when a property owner complained about a herd of free-roaming horses but was told by the livestock board that the agency could only take possession of the horses if they were rounded up by a private citizen. So that’s what the private citizen did — your basic vigilante justice.

The Observers Association suit soon followed — in 2016 — to stop the board from impounding and selling the horses.

The association, in case you’re wondering, says in its internet “mission statement” that it was formed “to protect and preserve the remaining wild horses and their habitats in the areas of Placitas, New Mexico, the state of New Mexico, and all of the United States.”

They probably could have included New Mexico in the United States.

The Observers don’t, however, want the horses to get too wild. The group “supports the use of PZP, a non-toxic immuno-contraceptive.”

I guess they want the horses to be able to be wild without consequences. How wild can you get with kids to mind?

Anyway, the appeals court, after a lengthy discussion, ruled that “the duty was not on the subject horses to avoid entering … private property.” They’re wild!

The landowner, the court said, should have built a fence. I don’t know why he didn’t think of that himself.

As a result, the prisoners were “wild horses” and could not be impounded or sold.

Or at least they used to be wild horses. After being jailed for six years, I’m hoping there are halfway houses (or halfway stables) for them.

At least they’ll have birth control.

Glass half-full? Eric Idle fans, please join me in a rendition of “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.”

Are you done?

The following is from a press release issued last week by Research and Markets, “the world’s largest market research store,” about a report from the U.S. Funeral Homes, Cemeteries & Crematories Industry.

“The Covid-19 pandemic resulted in a record 3.4 million deaths and a record 1.9 million cremations, and the industry benefitted from the increase in 2020 and 2021.”

There’s always a bright side somewhere for somebody.

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