Rogue rulings

Finally, a Trump-supporting conservative congressman has had the courage to introduce legislation that everyone should agree on.

A couple of years ago, a federal judge in Amarillo, Texas, named Matthew Kacsmaryk issued a ruling banning the sale of an abortion drug. It was one of a number of rulings in cases affecting the entire country that for some reason just had to be heard in Amarillo, Texas.

You can’t blame lawyers for wanting to appear before their favorite judges.

Well, actually, you can, but no one was doing anything about it.

Until recently. California Congressman Darrell Issa has introduced the No Rogue Rulings Act that supposedly will prevent federal judge rulings from affecting anyone outside their district.

Issa at last realized that Kacsmaryk was out of control.

Just kidding.

What Issa — and Donald Trump — were complaining about were rulings by judges against the Trump immigration polices (and practically every other policy). The national rulings, Issa reportedly said at a committee hearing, “allowed activist judges to shape national policy across the entire country — something this Constitution never contemplated.”

Unless the policies are about DEI or women’s rights.

I don’t know if the NRRA will pass, but it’s nice to know that both sides will be both happy and sad.

Positive effects. The executive branch of the government ignoring courts and/or impeaching judges who rule against it may seem like a bad thing, but there are positive impacts.

There will be no further need for bar exams or hand-wringing over who gets to practice law, because laws won’t mean anything. And court buildings will be available for low-cost housing (unless someone wants to put in a golf course).

Current law school curricula will be irrelevant, so schools should be converted to business schools with courses on president flattering, effective bribery and obsequiousness.

It’s just a matter of adjusting to the times until the tsunami comes through.

Mental health aid. I have some relief for those of you stressed out by pronouncements from Donald Trump and his crew: the Pee-wee Herman retort.

It works so well for just about everything these people say. Just pretend you’re the person that’s being insulted and respond correctly.

The president calls a judge a lunatic.

I know you are, but what am I?

Trump says Biden is the worst president in history.

I know you are, but what am I?

The country has gotten bloated, fat, disgusting.

I know you are, but what am I?

Pundits “are stone cold crazy!”

I know you are, but what am I?

Try this yourself. There are so many opportunities, and it works every time. It’s a lot of fun.