Religious Booze Enthusiasts Sue Idaho

POCATELLO (CN) – The Ethereal Enigmatic Euphoric Movement Towards Civilized Hedonism sued Idaho for allowing cities and counties to ban the sale of alcohol. The EEEMTCH claims the state is unconstitutionally truckling to Mormon influence, and adds: “the consumption of distilled spirits is both our moral obligation and sacred right.”




     The 2-page pro se complaint zeroes in on Preston, the Franklin County seat, which availed itself of the Idaho law that “allows cities by election to prohibit the sale of distilled spirits.” Preston banned sale of booze by the drink.
     The Etherealites claim: “Over 80 percent of the voters in Franklin County belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Members of the church believe that the drinking of any alcoholic beverage is a mortal sin. (See Doctrine and Covenants Section 89:7.) By use of Title 23 Chapter 9 23-917 of the Idaho Statutes, they are allowed to force their morality on those of us who don’t believe in their religion.”
     In a burst of glory and dudgeon, the Etherealites add: “By the use of their political power in Franklin County, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is not only allowed to force others to adhere to its religious beliefs, but allowed to deny members of The Ethereal Enigmatic Euphoric Movement Towards Civilized Hedonism the freedom to practice our religion. Like being told we have to drink at separate water fountains, if we want a mixed drink in a bar, we are forced to drive to any of the surrounding cities in the state.”
     The complaint is signed by the Etherealites’ “Official Representative Philip Henry Mockli; Title: Bugga-Bugga.”

%d bloggers like this: