Reality Show Clip Time

     How much more productive were we as a nation before every single person who’s ever had their picture in the local newspaper got their own reality television shows?
     Word comes down today that Farrah Fawcett’s son Redmond O’Neal has signed a deal to star in a reality show in four months…after he is released from prison for narcotics possession and bringing narcotics into a jail facility. The show will chronicle O’Neal’s struggles with addiction.
     Who cares.
     This on top of utter tripe like “Brooke Knows Best” (which stages inane situations for “star” Brooke Hogan, Hulk’s daughter, to find herself in), “New York Goes to Work” (which is even more patently absurd than anything Heidi and Spencer Pratt could dream of), “Daddy’s Girls” (pampered rich kids find themselves in situations of the producers’ makings), and of course “Jon and Kate Plus 8, Minus Two” (a roving sweat shop of sorts).
     Keep in mind, these are established shows, all but legitimate endeavors in the reality television genre. For example, “Brooke Knows Best” is in its second season and for some inexplicable reason Jon and Kate Gosselin have become national obsessions.
     News comes this week that Pauly Shore, yes, that Pauly Shore, is going to get his own reality show that follows his quest to adopt an African orphan. You can’t make this stuff up folks, at least not without large amounts of opium. Two Kardashian sisters have their own reality show, but why? Even Paris Hilton thinks they’re famous for no particularly good reason.
     “Reality” television has become like Dane Cook; you can’t hate the product, but you can certainly hate the people who are fans of the product.
     I mean, who has the time or inclination to watch this stuff? And more importantly, how much more could be accomplished by these people if they didn’t waste their time on this?
     Whatever happened to reading a book? Or playing board games? I watched “The Great Outdoors” last week (which was as great on its 139th viewing as it was on its first), and was struck by the fact that Roman and Chet’s families were playing Monopoly in the living room of this cabin, while an approximately 12″ television was turned off in the corner of a particularly large room.
     These days the room would be dominated by a 65″ plasma screen, the adults would be stone drunk and relegated to the kitchen, and the television would be hosting either a video game tournament or an extended marathon of “The Hills.”
     There is no requirement to watch television. In fact, television sets should be treated like bottles of liquor. Just because you have one doesn’t mean you should use it all the time. In fact it’s healthier to abstain more often than not.
     You could probably get a lot more accomplished. Like keeping your Facebook status constantly updated. I mean, god forbid you walk from one end of your house to another without letting the world know.

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