Real news

Like any responsible newsman, my bedrock commitment is to facts and authenticity. That’s why I’d like to address you today from my heart, as a Black woman and a Republican.

As a Republican, I’m tired — as I’m sure you are — of seeing Black People Get Ahead Due to Reverse Discrimination — the kind of discrimination that made our Supreme Court …

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A recent Gallup Poll of cowboys and a girl finds former President T. Rump ahead of his leading challenger, President  in esse  Kamala Harris, by a single digit in Kansas.

Shocking news, I’m sure you will agree. Why do we report it, a year before the next election? Beats the hell out of me.

As a Black woman, I’m tired — as I’m sure you are — of seeing a certain Republican sashaying down the aisle of the House, clutching “political donations” in his grubby claws, all the while denying …

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Ninety years and millions of pages of historical research have determined that the Nazi Party was a Christian nationalist movement. Also — brace yourself — Socialist! Shocking news, I’m sure you will agree.

As a Black Republican woman, I urge all of you, voters and nonvoters alike — preferably nonvoters — to do some research into the Party You Belong To. Wouldn’t hurt you to look into your religion either: Catholics and Jews, Protestants, Muslims and Hindus.

Seems to me, looking down through the centuries from the awful abyss of 2023, that the only “religion” that has not inflicted mass murders upon suffering humans is the atheists. Maybe the Zoroastrians and Bahá’ís — but that’s probably because they never had the power.

As a Black Republican woman, I’d like to remind you that the Days America Was Great (DAWG) tended to be during wars. And why was that? Because in wars, we all get together and hate the same people.

The Americans who fought in World War II — remembered fondly by people who didn’t have to fight in it as The Greatest Generation — were surely our greatest people, as more of them died (407,316, according to the Pentagon) and they killed more people in a shorter time than in any other wars. And why were our next wars, in Korea and Vietnam, not as great? Because we weren’t sure who we were supposed to hate. And why.  So we couldn’t kill as many people. And not as many of us died.

That’s something we modern Republicans are remedying, even as we speak out of both sides of our mouth. How? Who do we hate now? Democrats!  I’m sure we can all agree on that.

Oh, and women who have abortions.

Oh, and librarians.

Oh, and the president of the United States.

Oh, and people who disport themselves, unclothed, in any manner with which we are (allegedly) unacquainted.

Oh, and pretty much anyone who disagrees with us about anything.

Back in the glorious days of the Vietnam War, the traitors on our shores — untrustworthy, communist, worse, liberal — Americans had a slogan: Kill for peace.

We modern Republicans have come up with a better one: Hate for love.

Do you really love America, Democrats and liberals? Then step up and tell us honestly: Who do you hate? (I know, it should be “Whom do you hate?” but that’s elitist grammar. Even Democrats know better than to make a slogan like that.)

Until we can all get together and hate again, as one nation, indivisible, with guns and hatred for all, America will never be great again. That’s why the Democrat Party is unworthy of office, and has so much trouble gaining office: They just can’t get enough people together to hate.