OMG!

     OMG! OMG! OMG!
     You’d better be careful when saying OMG.
     A nurse in Long Beach, California has sued the Long Beach Memorial Medical Center because she says she was fired for saying “Oh My God” to herself – “under her breath.”
     In theory, God could hear her say that and, at least according to the lawsuit, the chief of nursing at the hospital heard her too and got mad.
     The offending phrase allegedly was uttered while the plaintiff was stuck with a group of others in a malfunctioning elevator and a patient who was supposed to be headed for intensive care announced he was having chest pains.
     Sounds like an OMG! moment to me.
     Now here’s the best part of the suit:
     ” ‘Oh My God’ is a religious phrase protected by Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
     “A belief in God is a central tenet of many religions and is protected by Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
     “Both plaintiff’s direct supervisor and her supervisor’s supervisor indicated that the religious utterance was the reason for her termination.”
     Yes, muttering OMG was a religious act.
     I’m much more spiritual than I thought I was.
     
     REPLACING SADDAM. Never bring incriminating evidence with you to meetings with the government.
     That may seem self-evident, but apparently it’s not.
     I refer you to yet another head-shaking Iraq war tale outlined in an entertaining ruling from the U. S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth District called United States of America v. Custer Battles, LLC in which we learn that the defendants were called to a meeting about the quality of their services.
     Then this happened: “After this meeting ended, Battles accidentally left behind an astonishing spreadsheet, which contained rows listing items invoiced under the Dinar Exchange Contract and separate columns listing the ‘Actual Cost’ for the items and the amount ‘Invoiced’ for the items.”
     Oops.
     Now are you wondering what a “dinar exchange contract” might be?
     It seems Iraqi money had Saddam Hussein’s picture on it and the U. S. administrator decided that it should be replaced.
     Said the ruling: “The exchange was a massive undertaking. The new dinars were shipped into Iraq on 28 fully-loaded Boeing 747 cargo planes, and the exchange required the services of multiple contractors, ranging from providers of currency-counting machines to transportation providers.”
     The dinar is finally free from oppression.
     
     DEPT. OF IRONY. I offer for your amusement, the following words and one phrase: “impuissant,” “perscrutation,” “sockdolager,” and “free-floating bubble of discretion.”
     Pretty cool, huh?
     The nifty language comes from a U. S. Court of Appeals for the First Circuit ruling by Judge Bruce Selyer called In Re Sony BMG Music Entertainment in which the court said that a civil trial over allegedly illegal file-sharing of music on the Internet could not be webcast live on the Internet.
     The music company doesn’t want to share its trial for free either.
     The logical next step: trial pirates illegally sharing court hearing downloads.
     The Internet is so much fun.

%d bloggers like this: