NBA Champ Claims Comedian Trashed Mansion, Snatched Cutlery

Scottie Pippen playing for the Chicago Bulls in 1995. (Steve Lipofsky of Basketballphoto.com)

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (CN) – NBA Hall of Famer Scottie Pippen has sued a lawyer-turned-shock-comic, claiming she trashed his $10 million mansion and made off with his coveted collection of Cuisinart knives.

Self-described “Alpha Bitch” Lindsay Glazer Woloshin, a Florida lawyer who’s touring as a no-holds-barred comedian, leased the champion basketball player’s palatial waterfront home in Fort Lauderdale after her own property was purportedly damaged by Hurricane Irma in 2017, according to Pippen’s lawsuit.

The rent for Pippen’s house was a cool $30,000 a month.

Obtained by Courthouse News from Broward court records, the lawsuit says that the mansion and its furniture were covered in urine by the end of the rental period. Pippen claims the comedian let her pets urinate “throughout the property, not only creating an unsanitary condition but also causing permanent damage.”

Supposedly, Pippen’s cabinets, front gate and home entertainment system were damaged as well.

Pippen goes on to allege that his “Cuisinart knife set and other utensils” went missing.

He says he was trying to sell the place for $10 million around the time of the lease. The lease contract says that tenants were required to keep the property in “top show condition” and that not even “reasonable wear and tear” would be acceptable to Pippen.

The short-term lease acknowledged in writing that Glazer’s labrador and cat would be staying with her and her family in the mansion.

The 6-bedroom, 13,500 square foot house has been on the market for years and was at one point listed for $16 million, property records show. It is currently listed at $9.8 million.

Pippen wants Glazer to reimburse him $109,000 for the alleged property damage. According to the complaint, a million-dollar renter’s insurance policy was required for the lease but was never obtained.

Glazer has not responded to a request for comment.

A South Florida attorney, she graduated from Tulane University Law School and was admitted to the Florida Bar in 2003. As a comic, she’s toured venues from  California to South Carolina, churning out feather-ruffling jokes in the vein of Lisa Lampanelli and Ali Wong.

She has stated publicly that her nickname — “Alpha Bitch” — was not something that she came up with herself, but was applied to her by others who were struck by her willingness to aggressively assert her opinions.

Glazer released a statement on Pippen’s lawsuit, saying it contains a “plethora of factual inaccuracies.”

She says she has not been served in the case, and found out about it when she was contacted for comment by Courthouse News.

She claims she plans to start a GoFundMe online account to raise $14 to replace Pippen’s Cuisinart knife set.

Pippen retired from the NBA in 2004 after a 17-year career during which he played alongside Michael Jordan on a Chicago Bulls team that dominated the league from 1991 to 1998. He won six championships with Jordan and was named an NBA Allstar seven times.

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