Name Jam

     I’ve spotted yet another odd law firm trend: name-jamming.
     I used to see lawsuits filed by a firm called Troy & Gould. Now I’m seeing lawsuits filed by a firm called TroyGould.
     TroyGould!
     Whoosh!
     It makes you want to say it really fast. Try it a few times.
     TroyGould!
     TroyGould!
     TroyGould!
     And then there’s Sulmeyer Kupetz Baumann & Rothman. Or at least that’s what it used to be called. Now it’s SulmeyerKupetz!
     Whoosh!
     Now there could be ecological reasons for this. Shortened and jammed names take up less space. There could be enormous savings in paper and ink.
     I suspect the real reason for this is the root of much of the seemingly-inexplicable behavior in our society: marketing.
     I couldn’t help but noticing that TroyGould (whoosh!) has a professionally-designed (and I’m guessing fairly new) website. You can practically feel the marketing wheels turning.
     “Listen guys, we’ve got a slick new look for your firm. All it needs is a slick new name. Something that zooms out of the mouth of your clients. Whoosh!
     I don’t know how well that works, but, if nothing else, it makes it so much easier for your clients to remember who you are. Some of you in firms with really long names (many of whom belong to dead guys) should be considering this.
     And I’d take the concept one step farther – don’t settle for jamming two names together. Take the coolest syllables from your firm’s name and merge them into one slick, rain-making moniker.
     For example, take this monstrosity of a name: Christensen, Glaser, Fink, Jacobs, Weil & Shapiro. Who’s going to remember that?
     But take the best parts and you’ve got Chinko!
     Whoosh!
     Or how about Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom?
     Change it to Skarf!
     I’m picturing a logo with large lawyers eating the carcasses of opposing parties.
     A few other examples:
     Old name: Wilmer Cutler Pickering Hale and Dorr.
     New name: Wicut!
     Old name: Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld.
     New name: KinG!
     Old name: Paul, Hastings, Janofsky & Walker.
     New name: PaSkywalker!
     Old name: Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman.
     New name: WinMan!
     Old name: Cooley Godward Kronish
     New name: Coolish!
     Old name: Wilson, Elser Moskowitz, Edelman & Dicker.
     New name: ManDick!
     Old name: Cleary Gottlieb Steen & Hamilton.
     New name: GotHam! (Or just Gotham for the New York office.)
     Old name: Knapp, Petersen & Clarke.
     New name: Knark!
     Old name: Bryan Cave.
     New name: Brave!
     I could go on and on.
     Whoosh!

%d bloggers like this: