Model reality

Does reality really matter? Well, yeah, it does, assuming reality is really real.

I shall wax philosophical in a moment, but first it’s time once again to play one of my favorite games: Guess the Cause of Action!

Pretend there’s a fabulous prize at stake and you’re jumping up and down for the amusement of the television audience.

All you have to do is read the following quote from a lawsuit filed recently in Los Angeles Superior Court and guess what the plaintiff is suing about. For a bonus imaginary prize, figure out who’s suing.

“The fraudulent misrepresentations of Defendants Unruly Agency,

Niknejad and Gathrite were so insidious that, thinking they were chatting with models

whom they trusted, unwitting Fans divulged some of their deepest personal secrets including sexual fantasies, marital troubles, suicidal ideations and other private desires. For instance, one fan lamented the demise of his marriage (and provided intimate details regarding the same) to Ms. Machabeli believing she was model Abby Rao, and continued to send her money on the basis of this deception….”

Hint: The “fans” are users of the OnlyFans.com website that offers personalized content supposedly provided by “models.” It’s been called the “Paywall of Porn.”

Have you got the answer?

Is it a class action on behalf of lonely heartbroken guys who thought a porn star was into them?

Nope.

Is it a suit on behalf of impersonated “models” demanding their compensation?

Nope.

The right answer is that it’s a California Labor Code violation suit on behalf of a couple of account managers working for an agency that represents the models. Apparently, the account managers haven’t been properly paid for their work, which includes sending fake messages to fans that seem personal but actually go to thousands.

Catfish need wages too.

You may be wondering why someone who wants to get paid for committing a supposed fraud would complain about and describe the fraud in a court document.

I wonder, too.

Make of that what you will. It is now time to wax philosophical. Are fans being defrauded by fake models? Should reality matter? And why are we calling them “fans”? I bet you can think of some other names for them — I’m not going to help you with that.

Be that as it may, if you’re being entertained by an image online, does it matter whether the image matches the person creating it? The “entertainment” is the same. You get your money’s worth.

If there are damages here, aren’t they being caused by someone else — e.g. the plaintiffs in this lawsuit exposing reality? Imagine the disappointment of fans learning about this.

Please don’t show this column to anyone who uses Onlyfans.com.

Pun trigger warning alert. Sometimes a news story cries out for a bad pun and you wonder why it wasn’t in the headline.

You may recall a while back that I recommended sinking the Queen Mary to save money (and maybe even make money with a televised event).

Last week, news reports appeared telling us that the city of Long Beach spent $23 million on Queen Mary repairs but the ship still needed another $23 million in fixes.

Headline that should have been: “Long Beach Officials Unaware of Sunk Cost Fallacy”

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