Let’s Make a Deal With a john

I don’t know about you, but I’d say that paying $280,000 to not have sex with two women is pretty poor evidence that Donald john Trump has any talent for making deals. I wouldn’t hire him to cut my lawn.

To calculate the amount of money that this john spent to not get laid, compared with the money an honest man would pay to really have sex, lay $280,000 over zero. So to speak.

This calculation shows that Donald john Trump pays infinitely more money not to get laid than an honest man would, to actually do the wild thing.

To support this lifestyle, Donald john Trump must have an infinite amount of money — or access to an infinite amount of money. Which in fact he has. And he is dealing it out faster than you can read these words.

Now if, after a lifelong pursuit of money, money and more money, Donald john Trump had any brains at all, he would sell his country short, and make a bundle from it.

Which in fact he is doing: Cutting deals on a strong dollar while driving the value of the dollar down.

There’s a lot of money to be made in ruination.

Why wouldn’t Donald john Trump do this? There are billions of dollars to be made, by him and his — well, he doesn’t have friends — let’s call them cronies.

To say that this john is selling his country short — metaphorically and actually — requires no great leap of imagination. Screwing people on the cheap while paying beaucoup beans to women he does or does not have sex with has been his modus operandi since forever. He brags about it.

Bizarre as it once would have been, everything in this column, so far as I know, is fact. So let’s move on to something more interesting.

Two hundred years ago Samuel Taylor Coleridge wrote: “One of Shakespeare’s modes of creating characters is to conceive any one intellectual or moral faculty in morbid excess … mutilated or diseased.”

Coleridge, one of our greatest critics of Shakespeare, wrote this at the midpoint between Shakespeare’s day and ours: 200 years after Shakespeare died, and 200 years before our present suffering. That makes him a good interpreter of Shakespeare to us, I’d say. Try to find better words to describe the state of U.S. politics today than “morbid excess … mutilated or diseased.”

Coleridge, in his benighted day, thought that art — even art about fictional characters — had moral content, and should be judged, in part, by its moral content.

Many Americans today, far more enlightened than Coleridge — right? — not only deny his proposition about art, they deny that we should judge a president of the United States on the basis of his morbidly excessive moral diseases.

Pardon me, a perennial outsider, for trying to tutor a Christian nation, but the Seven Deadly Sins are lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride. Laying sloth aside, so to speak, is there a better description of Donald john Trump than lust, gluttony, greed, wrath, envy and pride?

And what is the punishment for this, according to Scripture? I’m not sure. I don’t read much Scripture.

Though I do recall this nugget: “I say unto you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.”

Is that fake news?


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