Let the Record Show …


     DALLAS (CN) – An attorney last week was granted an emergency continuance so he could go to the first game of the World Series in San Francisco. In his 7-page emergency motion, Darrell Cook wrote of his “generally unrequited” love of the Rangers, which he has borne since he “was but a lad of thirteen.”




     Cook was scheduled for a 1 p.m. pretrial hearing in municipal court in Irving on Wednesday. But the Texas Rangers were taking on the Giants that night.
     “To put it bluntly, Darrell must be in San Francisco to attend to very important baseball matters and really, really needs to not be obligated,” Cook wrote.
     He said that another attorney at his firm would be unable to replace him, as she had to be at home dealing with contractors.
     Cook’s memo, complete with 8 footnotes and intimate details of his long and tragic love affair with a group of 25 men, well rewards the effort of perusal.
     After recounting his unfortunate exposure to the team at a tender age, at the hands of his “late and great father,” and the inauspicious early days of this season, including the discovery of one player “drunken and covered in whip cream,” the narrative builds to a shattering climax.
     Let the record reflect that Cook’s Paragraph 7 states, in toto: “Then suddenly and without warning the Rangers began a steady march toward credibility. They acquired the greatest post-season pitcher today in the person of Cliff Lee. (Footnote 3: The consideration exchanged for Mr. Lee was significant in that it included Justin Smoak. However, an analysis of that transaction and the future perils created by such transaction are beyond the scope of this motion and the jurisdiction of this Court.) They acquired Bengie Molina for the equivalent of a thimble and a skate key. (Footnote 4: In the interest of optional completeness and absolute candor with the Court, the Movant would also inform the Court that lesser players were also acquired. See Jorge Cantu, Alex Cora and Christian Guzman. Further, the emergence of Mitch Moreland, a relation of local radio and TV personality Gordon Keith, was of some import.”
     Upon gaining victory in his emergency motion – a victory the Rangers were denied that night – Cook Tweeted: “The judge just granted my motion to continue. Go #Rangers. That’s how lawyering go.” (Sic.)
     The Rangers lost Game 1, 11-7. Cliff Lee, “the greatest post-season pitcher today,” was shellacked.
     The Rangers are on the verge of elimination, down 3 games to 1.
     That’s baseball.

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