Interesting Times

     It’s been an odd week….
     
     Someone took my advice. Last week I wrote that a law firm should name itself The Justice League or The Avengers. This week I run across a lawsuit filed by X-Law!
     OK, they might have had the name before I wrote that column, but it’s cool nonetheless.
     The name projects an image of power used in defense of society’s outcasts and downtrodden.
     Or there could be porn involved. It’s an exciting combination.
     I’m hoping the office library is called The Danger Room.
     
     Prescription. This has probably happened to you too. I had to fill a prescription and the bottle label informed me that I needed to “take 1 tablet by mouth twice a day.”
     By mouth?
     As opposed to what?
     Naturally, this got to me thinking of alternatives. You don’t want to know….
     
     Headline: “Kindergartener brings guns to Texas school, 3 hurt.” You know what’s going to happen now.
     The left wing is going to jump on this to demand that guns be taken away from toddlers. They’re going to want metal detectors at preschool entrances.
     One little incident and the rights of kindergarteners to protect themselves could be in jeopardy.
     What if you’re minding your own business playing jacks with some friends when a big first-grader comes along and steals your ball? If you don’t have a gun, that first-grader is taking the jacks next.
     And think of the value of a pistol in a game of dodge ball.
     This is a serious Second Amendment issue. Toddlers are not different from stupid adults. Aside from size, they’re the same. One class should not be preferred over the other.
     And don’t even think about licensing. Kindergarteners can’t read the application forms, so there’s no point.
     
     The Divorce Double Exposure. First it was the McCourts – the couple who owned the Los Angeles Dodgers – divorcing and exposing their finances for all to see.
     That, in part, led, last week, to Major League Baseball taking over the team.
     But the divorce that may be more interesting (even if you don’t hear about it) is the one mentioned in a $200 million lawsuit by the City of Los Angeles and another multi-million dollar suit by the Glendale Redevelopment Agency against some companies that were hired to build affordable housing.
     It seems, allegedly, that the companies and their principals were overstating their costs and funneling money to India.
     The city found out about this, according to its suit, “from news reports about the marital dissolution” of two of the defendants.
     There’s something to be said for quiet settlements.
     And separate property.
     Advise any clients with risky financial dealings to be nice to their spouses or stay single.
     
     Bad hands. The government last week closed down a bunch of online poker sites. I don’t find that strange.
     What I do find strange is that, apparently, millions of people have been playing poker online.
     Obviously, I’m missing something here, but online poker just doesn’t seem like a good investment. You can’t read other players’ faces, you can’t know if you’re playing a robot or a human or a dog (and everyone knows dogs play poker), and you certainly can’t tell if the dealer is cheating.
     It seems insane. There aren’t even any orcs to battle.
     The only explanation that I can come up with is that people want to throw their money away. If that’s true, I can help those of you feeling poker-deprived. I have horses I can sell you that will cost you a fortune.
     I’m only trying to help.

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