Happy July 4;| Sue Somebody

     Here are some class actions someone should file. I would do it, but I’m pretty busy these days. And I’m not a lawyer.
     Sue Comcast for deceptive trade
     Every few months Comcast decides I am sending too many emails so it clamps a limit on me with no notice. This makes it impossible for me to work.
     The Comcast people deny such a thing is happening. But I ask politely, each time, to talk to a supervisor. Then I ask to talk to the supervisor’s supervisor. And so on. Eventually, someone admits that yes, Comcast has decided I am sending too many emails, so they slapped a limit on me.
     There is nothing in Comcast’s contracts about this. It doesn’t cost Comcast anything to let me send emails, and it does not save Comcast any money when it interferes with my work.
     I am not the only one to whom Comcast does this. A guy who earns his living programming computers told me Comcast does it to him too.
     The only reason I bring this up is that every time it happens, Comcast lies about it. That’s deceptive trade. It’s also annoying.
     Here’s another one:
     Sue AARP for deceptive trade
     In its 2008 Annual Report, AARP claimed to have 40 million members.
     In that report, it claimed annual income of $249 million from dues. Dues in 2007 were $15 a year.
     That works out to 16.6 million members: 58.5 percent fewer members than AARP claims to have.
     In its public statements, in its political arm-twisting, in the ad rates it charges for its bilious publications, AARP, therefore, is cheating – and cheating a lot.
     I mention this because AARP has been annoying me for 9 years. It started when I turned 50 and it hasn’t stopped, though I have asked AARP many times, politely at first, to leave me alone.
     When AARP backed Congress’ corrupt prescription drug giveaway to the drug companies, AARP dunned me for money. I responded with the first of my letters, politely, and asked AARP to leave me alone.
     It has not left me alone. My responses to its importunities grew so vehement I confess they were downright rude. Yet AARP refuses to let me alone. For all I know, it claims me as a member. But I am not a member.
     AARP obviously is lying about its membership. That’s deceit. It should stop. Maybe a little class action will do the trick.
     These suggestions may lay me open to charges of using the legal process for personal ends, without being a member of Congress or in the hire of a giant corporation.
     So what? This is America, where anyone can sue anyone for anything. But in the spirit of something or other – America, let’s say – here’s a public-spirited class action.
     Sue Arizona
The Arizona Constitution declares that the state must use income from leasing state land to support its public schools. Yet Arizona leases state land for practically nothing to giant cotton farms, and virtually gives the farms water.
Cotton is the water-intensive, inedible farm product there is.
     One hundred eighty-five thousand acres of Arizona are planted in cotton this year, according to the Western Farm Press. A lot of that is state land, leased cheap, nearly free, tens of thousands of acres at a time, to profit-seeking corporations.
     Two-thirds of the cotton land is in bone dry land in the center of the state.
     In this time of wrenching budget cuts and mass layoffs of teachers, Arizona is screwing its students and squandering its water to grow a crop we could buy cheaper elsewhere.
     Someone should sue Arizona and make it charge market rates for land and water. That would fix the state’s school funding problem.
     I imagine other states have similar laws or constitutional provisions that they are ignoring. Arizona is not the only state in the union that shreds its own constitution, and the federal Constitution, on a whim – though it’s certainly taking the lead on that these days.
     There are plenty of other worthy class actions begging to be filed, and someone should file them, since our elected officials are so busy truckling to corporations that they have no time or interest in fixing problems for people anymore.
     Happy Fourth of July.

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