Flashy Crime Fighting

     I suspect Florida gets a bit of a bad rap. It can’t be all that bad.
     Then yet another weird story turns up.
     This is from the beginning paragraph of an 11th Circuit Court ruling issued last week called Berry v. Leslie:
     “On August 21, 2010, after more than a month of planning, teams from the Orange County Sheriff’s Office descended on multiple target locations. … With some team members dressed in ballistic vests and masks, and with guns drawn, the deputies rushed into their target destinations, handcuffed the stunned occupants – and demanded to see their barbers’ licenses.”
     Perhaps not surprisingly, these raids were in “predominantly Hispanic and African-American neighborhoods.”
     Read the opinion for more amazing details. My favorite part is the note that the same sheriff’s department got swatted down in court for sending a SWAT team to inspect an auto repair shop.
     The problem may be that the SWAT team doesn’t have enough to do.
     Or maybe this “scene right out of a Hollywood movie” was supposed to inspire a Hollywood movie.
     I’m thinking Jim Carrey and Bill Hader as the SWAT team leaders and Steve Harvey, Kevin Hart and John Leguizamo in the barber shops. Bill Cosby should be there as a startled customer.
     There’s money to be made selling the rights to this comedy.
     The movie theory may also explain yet another bizarre tale made public last week by the Court of Federal Claims in Robyns v. U.S., which prompted the judge to begin with a quote from Shakespeare’s “Othello.”
     And end the ruling with a quote from Kafka’s “The Trial.”
     I think the judge is angling to do the screenplay.
     I won’t go into the details of this case – the ruling goes on and on and on – but basically it’s about a guy who went undercover with the Hell’s Angels, got a lot of awards for his work, and then maybe (allegedly) wasn’t properly protected by Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives agents who, you’d think, would be on his side.
     I’m just guessing here, but I think part of the problem is jealousy, because the plaintiff, Jay Dobyns, wrote a book about his work and now is an actor. Check him out on IMDb.
     Nobody likes a glory hog.
     Here, Bossie: The most astonishing quote of the week comes from an Alabama Court of Civil Appeals ruling in Bryant v. Hammonds.
     This is from a statement by the plaintiff: “The photographs depict cattle that were at [Hammonds’] fence line and came from nearly a mile on my call.”
     Now I want to see them catch Frisbees.
     Getting Started: Buying and selling a law practice just got a lot easier.
     Well, maybe. Anyway that’s what an outfit (or probably just one guy) claims on a website called LawBiz Registry.
     Maybe it’s true – if you’re really fast. There were a grand total of five practices for sale when I looked at the site last week.
     Still, the Registry is just starting out, so maybe this will be a booming business. Just imagine the market for firms among all those law grads who can’t find jobs. They’re already hugely in debt, so why not take out another loan to buy a practice?
     In case you’re wondering, you can pay $99 a month to list your practice for sale – or you can fork over $489 for a book on how to sell your practice. I’m guessing the book recommends listing the practice for $99 a month.
     Law practice is turning into real estate.
     A recent piece in The Atlantic, called “The Law School Scam,” compared what some for-profit law schools are doing to the sale of subprime mortgages. Law firm practice sales are the next logical step.
     Expect to see courses on firm flipping.
     Expect to see clients wondering who their lawyers are – and why the lawyers are living in cars.

%d bloggers like this: