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Op-Ed

Finding Love

November 28, 2016

It hasn’t been easy the past week or two, but I’ve been desperately trying to avoid saying or writing anything about politics.

Milt Policzer

By Milt Policzer

Courthouse News columnist; racehorse owner and breeder; one of those guys who always got picked last.

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It hasn’t been easy the past week or two, but I’ve been desperately trying to avoid saying or writing anything about politics.

My feeling is that just about everything that could possibly be written on that topic has been seen. No one needs an extra opinion from me.

Obsessions can’t be good for us.

One result: I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the better part of the day wondering what to write about.

Fortunately, salvation has come, in the form of a press release from a lawyer-owned company called No Borders for Love that provides an oddly specific service.

At least I thought it was lawyer-owned. The nobordersforlove.com website describes the company founder as “the owner of a private law firm in Atlanta, Georgia.”

There’s so much silly goodness here.

Let’s begin with the lawyer-owned law firm. Apparently, the owner really is a lawyer although the concept of a non-lawyer owning a law firm is intriguing and maybe even logical.

Lawyers are always obsessing about generating business and dealing with finances. Wouldn’t it be more sensible for business people to own the firm and worry about that stuff so that lawyers could concentrate on law?

Oh, sure, there could be conflicts of interest and/or owners trying to cut corners, but lawyers ought to be able to figure out ways to get around that sort of thing.

And think how much fun it would be to unionize your office and go out on strike.

Now let’s take a look at this Atlanta lawyer’s website – gallerlaw.com.

I’m sure you’ll find your own gems, but my favorite parts can be found by clicking on the “about us” tab at the top of the home page.

For example, when you click on “staff” you get to see three lovely blue boxes with names on them.

There are no pictures, no titles, no job descriptions – just boxes and names.

My guess is that they work undercover.

On the “bio of Galler” page, we find a lovely photo of a man and a woman with the caption: “David Galler.”

Who is this mystery woman?

Are they actually David and Galler?

Perhaps they’re an unusual form of Siamese twins.

Now consider the “read our blog” page.

Go ahead. Read it.

The first item, dated Sept. 30, 2016, is titled: “Student Loan Forgiveness Can Come with a Tax Bomb.”

This is interesting and perhaps important information for those of you struggling with student debt.

Thank you, Mr. Galler?

But wait, there doesn’t seem to be any sort of byline or credit for the article. Did Galler write this or was it one of his undercover employees?

Now check out this strangely similar article dated Sept. 11, 2016 at the CNBC site.

OK, it’s not strangely similar – it’s identical.

My teacher friends would fail this student.

Now that we’ve established this law firm owner’s bona fides, let’s go back to what originally caught my eye: the press release issued last week for No Borders for Love.

Here’s its first rather long sentence: “Sophisticated, caring and commitment-minded American men who are frustrated with the conventional local dating scene, and turned off by dubious international websites that are a waste of time at best and outright fraudulent at worst, can now potentially find their better half on the other side of the world with the assistance of No Borders for Love: a new marriage agency that facilitates successful relationships with commitment-minded women born, raised and living in Ukraine.”

It's amazing how many sophisticated men are fooled by dubious international websites.

Fortunately, No Borders for Love has discovered one very specific country that offers good relationships with single women: the Ukraine.

Where else would you want to look?

Just look at the Borders website: the Ukraine apparently is filled with single, attractive women willing to hook up with random sophisticated Americans.

There are pictures of them.

They all look great!

What could possibly go wrong?

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