Facts & Opinions

     Every plant we eat has been genetically modified.
     So has all the meat and all the fish.
     It has taken billions of years of evolution to produce an animal that can file a lawsuit about this.
     Why do pornographers call their films “adult movies”? If they really believe there is nothing wrong with pornography, why don’t they just call it pornography?
     The modern piano was invented by Pantaleon Hebenstreit.
     There is still no standard size for a violin.
     Chicago police are the most racist and abusive in the country, judging from the 1 million lawsuits I see every year editing this page.
     Why isn’t Mayor Rahm Emanuel doing something about that?
     Los Angeles cops are worst after Chicago’s.
     Oklahoma cops are nothing to brag about either.
     Based on these 1 million lawsuits a year – for 10 years – it appears that labor laws are violated more often, and more widely, in Florida than in any other state.
     This is not because Florida has tougher labor laws than other states. It’s because Florida’s lawmakers and enforcers, and the citizens who elect them, don’t care a damn about enforcing labor law, so workers have to sue to get paid.
     Speaking of states: Were they alive, Vladimir Horowitz, Marcel Proust, Michelangelo, Socrates, Alexander the Great, Tchaikowsky, Stravinsky, Leonard Bernstein, Plato, Oscar Wilde, Sappho, the Greek general Alcibiades, and probably Yesu ha Nozri could all be refused service in Arizona.
     Oh, wait, the governor vetoed that, didn’t she? Never mind.
     Speaking of nation states: Russia has no more right to Crimea than the United States has to the naval base at Guantánamo.
     No one was hurt when Shakespeare’s Globe theater burned down in 1613, except for one man whose britches caught fire, which was doused by a timely applied bottle of ale. The fire came during a performance of “Henry VIII,” which also went by the title “All Is True.”
     The only things one can do better at age 80 than at 20 are play music, write, and cook.
     A person will have a happy life if he can be as grateful for anything at all as a cat is for having clean kitty litter.
     Today is Johann Sebastian Bach’s 329th birthday. Rejoice.

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