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Monday, December 11, 2023 | Back issues
Courthouse News Service Courthouse News Service

Bubble Forecasting

Humility, please, people. Humility.

I know at least a few of you lawyers out there are thrilled about the real estate bubble bursting and the "sub-prime crisis." It should mean lots of work for you.

But consider this: a burst bubble is nothing more than a bubble for lawyers - which will eventually burst too.

Then what do you with all the lawyers who know about nothing but real estate litigation?

OK, there will be other things to sue over, but my point is that bursting bubbles aren't a good thing for anyone. Heck, some of you may even have bought a house a few years ago. You know what I'm talking about.

Economic bubbles are a hot topic these days and there are all sorts of proposed complicated solutions. Everyone, of course, is missing the obvious indicators: hapless friends.

You know who I'm talking about.

These are the friends you have who will jump on any bandwagon to make money.

These are the guys who inherit thousands of dollars, put them into a mutual fund, and wonder where it all went a year later.

These are the people who take out adjustable loans just before interest rates go up and home values crash.

These are the geniuses who invest in hot Internet companies who disappear a year later.

Come on. You know these people.

All you need to do is identify your unluckiest friends and find out what they're investing in. It's an infallible bubble signal.

So the solution to our economic bubble problem is obvious. Put together a representative group of people with experience at squandering every penny they have and charge them with coming up money-making plans to save the economy.

And then outlaw anything they suggest.

We'll all be saved a lot of grief.

CANINE CAVEAT. Yes, the rich are different from you and me. They may well be insane.

This is from a recent Los Angeles Superior Court complaint filed against an establishment described as the Pet Shop to the Stars:

" 'Pets of Bel Air's treats are baked fresh by our friends at Kool Dog Kafe and are delivered to our door. They are 100% human grade with all natural ingredients that are safe for our furry friends, and even exclude salt and sugar.'

"At defendant's shop, staff members perfume and coif their tiny puppies for sale, placing them in baby cribs - creating an illusion of perfection."

Well, an illusion of something, anyway. I'm picturing the staff in pink tutus.

This apparently works for some people because the plaintiff, according to the suit, paid $1,900 plus tax for a Chihuahua puppy.

A Chihuahua puppy!!!

Said the suit: "This represented a discount from the $2,400 listed sale price of the puppy."

Well, how could you turn that down?

Unfortunately, the dog was defective and died less than two weeks later. Even worse for Pets of Bel Air, the customer (and, now, plaintiff) is a partner in a law firm who's now filed a class action against the store for peddling puppy mill puppies advertised as coming from private breeders.

And he's man enough to admit he spent $1,900 on a puppy. You've got to admire that.

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