Best wishes

“I wish you all the best in your future legal endeavors and in life.”

See if you can guess where the above quotation came from. Yes, I know a version of this line is in all sorts of documents. It’s probably deeply ingrained in the artificial intelligence that’s taking human jobs.

What I’m asking you about is the above line in a recent pair of letters that made a bit of news.

The answer is that it’s from a pair of short letters of apology from a federal judge named Eleanor Ross to a half dozen of her clerks who were not being fired. Instead, the apology was for having sex in her chambers that was loud enough for the clerks to hear.

Apparently, the clerks (or at least some of them) were not happy about what they heard. Remember what it’s like when you check into a cheap motel and the couple next door is having a much better time than you are. It makes it hard to sleep and/or do legal research.

A complaint was filed with the 11th Circuit Judicial Council. The judge denied the claim and claimed one of the clerks made the loud sex thing up.

It was not made up. The council issued a private reprimand and told the judge to apologize to the poor traumatized clerks.

The first sorry letter was all of three lines long. It said: “Thank you for your contributions to our Court during your clerkship. I convey my deepest apology for not taking steps to ensure that it was a more positive experience. I wish you all the best in your future legal endeavors and in life.”

Sorry not sorry. Clerks complained again and the Council told the judge to try again and be more specific.

I have mixed feelings about this.

On the one hand, you’ve got to be impressed by a judge having some fun on the job. I don’t know why the clerks are so upset. You’d think not having a grumpy boss would be a good thing. A lot of judges could really benefit from this sort of stress relief.

Is lying about an affair that huge a crime? There are a lot of unpunished criminals out there if it is.

The bad parts, though, are the false accusation against the clerk and the fact that the judge was getting it on with a deputy police chief. Police, after all, tend to end up in courtrooms a lot.

There’s also the matter of the judge showing up at a political event. Only Supreme Court justices get to do that.

Assorted Republicans were calling for the judge to be impeached — probably because she’s an Obama appointee — and even a writer for Slate (which is definitely not a right wing publication) expressed outrage over the judge’s “toothless punishment.”

I disagree. What’s clearly needed is funding for chamber soundproofing. We need happier judges.

The Slate piece pointed out that there are a lot of abusive judges who have intimidated clerks. I’m guessing most of that abuse isn’t loud sex.

Maybe those judges should be impeached.

I don’t know, but I do have one unanswered question: Does Judge Ross really wish those clerks the best in their future legal endeavors and life?

I have doubts.

Racism . Racism, unfortunately, comes in many sinister forms. A new form of racism was exposed last week in a suit filed by a story editor on the “Matlock” television series who says he was subject to all sorts of discrimination and sexual harassment.

Among the allegations was this: “In or about March 2024, Snyder brought an unfamiliar dog into the writers’ room without warning, removed its leash, and physically placed the animal onto plaintiff’s lap. Snyder had earlier refused to keep the dog herself, citing that her children ‘didn’t like the aesthetic’ — referring to the dog’s black color — after which plaintiff was coerced into caring for the animal for nearly a year. Plaintiff reasonably perceived this conduct as racially motivated harassment … .”

Some people would be delighted to be given a dog at work. Is this really harassment? Picture this scenario in next year’s mandatory HR training. Should you report dog-foisting to HR? Does it matter what color the dog is?

No word on what happened to the dog after the “nearly” year. Someone needs to look out for the rights of black dogs.