Astonishing Things

Assorted astonishing things.

Breast practices. The following is from a recent suit by the La Leche League of Southern California against La Leche League International, Inc.:

"Slowly over the decades, LLLI saved breastfeeding from the brink of extinction ...."

Apparently predators and the destruction of natural habitats were almost too much for breasts.

Passing thought. I was listening to a public radio call-in show the other day about the social responsibility of corporations and a rather frightening thought occurred to me.

Corporations are Cylons.

Really. The point that lefty callers kept making was that corporations are man-made creations.

So are Cylons.

And the Supreme Court says corporations are entitled to free speech.

Cylons speak for themselves.

We use anti-trust laws to curb corporations that have become too powerful.

The human race tried to suppress the Cylons.

Uh-oh.

If you happen to notice a corporation that appears to have traveled from the future to terminate a child, report it to the authorities immediately.

Battling evil. A law firm based in Redwood City, California has sued a guy with the username "Evil" who vents on a website called Evilesq.

I'm not going to go into all the alleged libel here, but it goes on and on and on.

I have some questions.

Do you really need to sue someone named Evil for misstatements? How influential could Evil be? (That's Evil, the person, not evil, the concept.)

Do you really want to sue someone named Evil who has plenty of time for extensive ranting? How many years in court do you want to spend with someone who goes on and on and on?

Someone may want to reconsider this.

Historic admission. Long-time readers of this column know that I've been an advocate for the rights of the deceased. So imagine my joy when spotting this opening paragraph from a press release last week:

"PITTSBURGH, Oct. 7 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- More than a century and a half after he was first denied admission to the Allegheny County Bar because of the color of his skin, George Boyer Vashon, an African-American legal scholar and abolitionist, will officially be admitted to the state bar by the Pennsylvania Supreme Court in a ceremony to be held on October 20 at 9 a.m. at the City-County Building in Pittsburgh."

I'm guessing it's going to be an inactive bar membership.

I can't wait to see what happens when the guy gets behind in his dues payments.

Stinky litigation. From a Second District California Court of Appeals ruling called Ramirez v. Wong:

"Two female tenants sued their landlord after the residential manager of their apartment building entered their apartment in their absence, opened their dresser drawer and removed and sniffed their underwear."

Now calculate damages.

These plaintiffs are going to be doing their laundry very regularly.

Subscribe to Closing Arguments

Sign up for new weekly newsletter Closing Arguments to get the latest about ongoing trials, major litigation and hot cases and rulings in courthouses around the U.S. and the world.

Email *

Submit