Road to…

The two greatest words in the English language are: road trip. This has been scientifically proven with a Commodore 64.

Taken separately, the words aren't that spectacular. "Road" is pretty much useless. It describes what we drive cars on, maybe bikes if you happen to live around Austin. You can get metaphorical with the word, for example being on the road to redemption, but it just means a path of some sorts.

Trip is a little more glamorous, since it could describe a life-enriching adventure. Trip could also describe your proctologist appointment.

Put the two together, though, and you have the greatest words in the English language. more

What could possibly be more fun than piling into a car with some friends or family, traveling at least a couple hundred miles together, preferably longer if possible, and then arriving at some destination that provides a respite, no matter how brief, from the humdrum of everyday life?

The younger you are, the greater the meaning the term "road trip" takes. A road trip at the age of 22, for example, probably involves enough beer to float an aircraft carrier, an almost exclusively junk food diet, and a final destination that somehow works strippers into the mix. A road trip at 35, on the other hand, tones down the amount of alcohol consumed (while simultaneously improving on the quality), mixes in some sort of healthy alternative to the 7-Eleven food aisle more often than not, and involves a final destination that doesn't require some of the crew to sneak into the hotel room to save some money.

A road trip is great because it's part of the vacation, and everyone treats it as such. Everyone is in a good mood, usually, on a road trip. At least on the way there. Not only are you getting to spend time with friends on the way there, you've got something to look forward to, some kind of vacation at the end of the line. You get to bond, intensely, with people you like enough to be uncomfortable with.

What's great about traveling by plane? It's a means to an end, and that's it. Who likes to spend time in airports? Flying loses its novelty in about six seconds, and there's the ever-present fear of near instant death, a death you're completely powerless to avoid. Once you get on an airplane, it's frowned upon to shotgun a beer, or throw Doritos at your companions in the seats in front of you. And unless you don't mind being seen as a total cretin, you need to watch your language.

A road trip is the only method of travel that is inherently fun. Yeah, it gets old after awhile, you start to hate the people in the car with you, and at some point you develop a mantra along the lines of "this has to be worth it, this has to be worth it." But then you arrive at wherever it is you set out for, and it all becomes fun all over again.

Coming back. Now those are the two worst words in the English language.

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