Plots Have They Laid, Inductions Libelous

     Is it over yet?
     Can’t anyone make it stop?
     Pretty please, with a federal injunction on top?
     A black church in Mississippi was burned in an arson fire Tuesday, and “Vote Trump” spray-painted in white across the fragments that remained.
     More than 20 lawsuits this week alleged dirty doings in the election.
     In West Virginia, a candidate for state senate sued an opposing political group, claiming it defamed him by saying he had testified to the good character of a convicted child molester. The candidate said that never happened.
     The name of his opponent? West Virginia Family Values.
     In Las Vegas, the Democratic Party sued the Republicans, the Trump campaign and Nixon’s old dirty trickster Roger Stone. Stone today runs a website called Vote Protectors, which allows “ballot security volunteers” to “download and print official-looking identification badges,” to use as they “approach voters at the polls, identify themselves as ‘reporting for Vote Protectors,’ and ask them about election fraud,” if you can believe the Democratic Party.
     Stone and Trump urge their 2,200 ballot security volunteers to “wear red shirts on Election Day,” as they look for vote fraud in “nine Democratic-leaning cities with large minority populations.” The Democrats say this violates the Voting Rights Act and the Ku Klux Klan Act of 1871.
     Republicans, meanwhile, have been suing voter registrars hither and yon, for letting people register to vote without sufficient identification.
     These would be the “thousands” of Mexicans that Trump claims President Obama is “letting … pour into the country so they can go and vote.”
     Talk about fast-tracking citizenship!
     If any federal agency were capable of acting so quickly, thousands of times, we should put it in charge of everything. Finally, Congress might get something done.
     Let us not forget FBI Director James Comey, who was sued this week by, of all people, the chief White House ethics adviser under President George W. Bush.
     Richard Painter claims Comey violated the Hatch Act by releasing information — but not much information — about stuff Comey hadn’t even seen yet, on a computer seized from former congressman/weenie-flasher Anthony Weiner — actually, the computer hadn’t been seized yet either — but Weiner is married — but not for long — to Hillary Clinton adviser Huma Abedin.
     Got it? The FBI was just doing its job, like in the glory days of 1964, when it blackmailed Martin Luther King and urged him to kill himself.
     Those were the days, weren’t they, Jimbo?
     The Hatch Act prohibits government employees from politically campaigning on the public dime.
     Painter called Comey’s semi-release of semi-information an “abuse of power” — an illicit and illegal attempt to influence the presidential election.
     Comey’s hail-Mary pass spurred outrage from — of all people —Republican senators, congressmen, Newt Gingrich, George W. Bush’s Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, and 146 former Department of Justice officials and state prosecutors.
     Also from Watergate conspirator John Dean, who responded to Trump’s claim that Weiner’s emails were a scandal “bigger than Watergate,” by calling Trump’s statement “nonsense.”
     Dean wrote for The New York Times Monday edition: “Whatever mistakes Mrs. Clinton made, her actions bear no similarities whatsoever to Nixon’s criminalization of his presidency, and his efforts to corrupt much of the executive branch.”
     I know this is old news. More dirty-trick lawsuits will be filed today. And Monday. And on Election Day. Then — thank God for small favors — we can move on to the post-election lawsuits.
     The United States today is not the country I knew and loved just a year ago. It’s a willfully dysfunctional agglomeration of vicious, self-seeking idiots. An enormous LaBrea Tarpit.
     Loser though I may be, I seek solace outside of politics.
     The evil that men do lives after them. As soon as I think I’m out, they pull me back in.