Have you ever wondered why Godzilla kept aimlessly staggering around cities, knocking things down?

            It might have been the juice.

            This is from a recent complaint filed in federal court in Los Angeles:

            “The ‘CABZILLA’ brand wine is sold in a bottle bearing a front label featuring the ‘CABZILLA’ mark and a depiction of Toho’s Godzilla character holding a glass of red wine.”

Red goes well with those tasty little snacks in passing commuter trains and skyscrapers.

By the way, the suit also notes that “the back label of ‘CABZILLA’ wine bears the ‘CABZILLA’ mark and states, inter alia, ‘You’re a serious Cabernet drinker. You want a wine that’s bigger than life. And the price won’t eat you alive.’”

Yes, but the drinker might.

DEPARTMENT OF IRONY. The following is from a complaint filed in federal court in Los Angeles:

“In fact, however, in formulating and recommending to plaintiff the Marital Settlement Agreement that was ultimately entered as a final judgment in the Wolfs’ separation proceedings, and in counseling Ms. Wolf to accept it, these defendants, inter alia, and without disclosure to plaintiff ... concealed from and/or failed to disclose to Ms. Wolf, until after she had signed the Marital Settlement Agreement, the fact that enormous future revenues would be paid to Mr. Wolf from profit participations in the broadcast and syndication of the television show Law and Order and its progeny....”

So much for law and order.

            KEEPING OUT THE RIFFRAFF. The trend continues – immigration judges are still doing their best to deny asylum for the oddest of reasons.

            This is from a U. S. Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit ruling called Cao v. Attorney General: “After declaring that Cao’s demeanor as a witness was ‘quite perfect,’ the IJ discredited virtually every aspect of the Cao’s testimony. With respect to the infanticide issue, the IJ proceeded on the basis of the notion that there is no real distinction between infanticide and forced abortion, which led her to be incredulous that Cao could be so offended by infanticide when she was already aware of the practice of forced abortion.”

            Yeah, killing live babies is so humdrum.

            We just report this stuff.

TALES OF THE OBLIVIOUS. We found the following in a complaint filed in Los Angeles Superior Court. Horror filmmakers take note:

    "At or about 11:45PM, plaintiff was requested to move his vehicle from the parking lot at the subject premises. As plaintiff stepped into the garage area from the hallway, his left foot caught the top of a hardened cement ridge causing plaintiff to trip and fell (sic) on the cement 'blob' placed in the area by defendants....

    "At the time defendants, and each of them, rented the premises to plaintiff, the premises were unfit for human occupation in that a valid Certificate of Occupancy had not been issued to the premises, construction was still going on daily with jack hammers and hammering, and the neighbors operated a dog kennel in which the dogs would bark 24 hours per day....

    "None of these conditions were known to plaintiff at the time plaintiff moved into the premises."

            The iPod must have been turned up too high when he moved in.